Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion

Well, we said the Dolphins had to beat the Ravens to avoid the ol' schneid season, and gosh golly gee dang it, they somehow pulled it off! In overtime! Shortly after Baltimore missed a 44-yard field goal, Greg Camarillo caught a short pass over the middle and busted off the 64-yard winner. Final score: Miami 22, Baltimore 16. The '76 Buccaneers salute you, Greg! Even though they have no idea who you are.

In other news: Fred Taylor's groin, oblivious to cold weather, scored a touchdown in the final two minutes as the Jags withstood a late fourth-quarter Steelers run to assure a playoff spot; the Pats just beat the Jets by 10 because something is definitely wrong with this 14-0 team; and the Browns held on to beat my beloved Bills 8-0. At least I think that's what happened. It was a little difficult to see these games at times.


Checking in on the four o'clock fun: the Cowboys second drive ended in an interception, recovered fumble and three points; the Colts T.J. Rushing (and his incredible football name) returned a 90-yard punt to put Indy up early; and the Chargers are absolutely spanking the Fuck Lions. It's already 20-0 Bolts with like, six minutes to go in the second. We'll see if Norv can blow this.

And finally, tonight, I just realized there are TWO games on tap. Well, there was at least. Yeah, you see, 'Nightmare Ant' doesn't like switching back and forth between games, so he just decided to combine the Redskins-Giants and Bears-Vikings into one. So, um, yeah ... it's Washington at Minnesota now. No Neck Beard tonight, folks. Sorry.

OK, I'm done. I need to go shovel my bike out from under six-feet of snow. I'm J.E. Skeets, and you've been the best! Enjoy the games, guys.

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