Football Page 1419 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
But Does It Have A Horrible Pun? You Brettcha!
Fans in Hattiesburg, Miss. (not Minnesota, mind you), have bought a billboard urging Favre to return to the Vikings. In the future, all human communication will take place via billboard. [Hattiesburg American, via RandBall]...
Saints Just Officially Lost The Super Bowl
New Orleans has scheduled a parade for next Tuesday, "win or lose." The football gods don't like hubris, and they especially don't like fêting losers. So it's a jinx-jinx situation either way. [Indy Star]...
Michael Irvin Accused Of Rape
A woman has accused Irvin and an accomplice of raping her in a Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in 2007. The Broward County Attorney's office is expected to decide next week if criminal charges will be brought. [Miami Herald]...
Demar Dorsey A Perfect Fit For UM
RichRod yesterday: "There's nobody on this football team that we've signed that has a felony conviction. There's nobody on this football team we signed that has a misdemeanor conviction." Today: Dorsey burglarized two homes in one day in 2007. [Freep]...
Satan, For One, Cares About The Pro Bowl
The devil wants to destroy successful believers, Cowboys o-lineman Leonard Davis tells BPSports.net. That means you, Christian Pro Bowlers! "Satan is definitely on the prowl," Davis says. "He wants to see us fail." [BPSports.net]...
Past And Current Jaguars Disagree On Tebow's Future
The best QB in franchise history thinks Jacksonville should draft Tim Tebow. One of the men who would be protecting him says he'll be a bust....
Colts Practicing Reverse Discrimination, Says Column That Makes Sense For About Two Seconds
Here's an argument that when the Colts hired Jim Caldwell, they violated the spirit of Rooney Rule by not interviewing any majority candidates. Also, the Saints should give Aaron Brooks some snaps on Sunday before Brees takes over. [NYDN]...
Alabama Fax Machine Replaces Memphis Door As Inanimate Symbol Of Existential Dread
On this National Signing Day, Alabama is offering a live video feed of a fax machine. The machine periodically spits out a piece of paper. A name goes up on a board. Nothing to be done. [CBSSports.com, via Bourbon Boys]...
Meyer-To-Cowboys Rumor Too Absurd Not To Print
Some unnamed SEC coaches have been warning recruits that Urban Meyer will be ditching UF for the Dallas Cowboys. Because nothing's better for someone with heart and stress problems than the botoxed face of death staring you down. [Orlando Sentinel]...
Look Out ESPN: The Ocho Cinco News Network Is On The Air
I don't know about you, but I'd rather watch Chad Ochocinco prowl media day as a reporter than any number of Mexican models. (Why are you looking at me that way?)...
Take A Gander At Brett Favre's Disgusting Bruises
Bus Cook is emailing photos of Brett's black and blue parts to prove how banged up he was. Favre himself won't use it as an excuse for that interception, but don't worry....someone took care of that for him. [Jackson Clarion-Ledger]...
Oregon Football Players Refuse To Lay Low For Awhile
Walk-on Matt Simms is charged with assaulting a man that he thought was responsible for stomping teammate Rob Beard last week. He was probably mistaken, but impulse control is not the Ducks' strong suit. [KVAL]...
Rae Carruth's Son Is 10 Years Old
In case you missed it: Watch the "Outside The Lines" story on Rae Carruth's now 10-year-old son, Chancellor Adams, who was born with cerebral palsy after his mom was murdered while he was in the womb. [ESPN]...
Rex Ryan's Wayward Finger Is A Problem, For Some Reason
Rex Ryan is very sorry that he held up a middle finger to a bunch of drunks who were cursing at him. It really put a damper on the ritualistic human combat taking place directly behind him....
That Pro Bowl Was Something To See
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Wish You Were Here
Move the Pro Bowl to the Super Bowl site, they said. More players will take part, and there'll be more excitement, they said. If that's so, then why is the QB matchup Aaron Rodgers against Matt Schaub?...
An Alternate Definition Of "Dress For Success"
There's going to be a whole bunch of men in drag on Bourbon Street tomorrow, none of whom will be spiffier than Bobby Hebert, wearing one of his daughter's sequined creations. It's called the "Mu Dat Nation Mumu."...
Dear Haiti, Here Are Some Ugly Shirts
Premature, unused Vikings (and Jets) conference championship gear is on its way to Haiti. So the Brett Favre coverage continues, in Port-au-Prince at least. [RandBall]...
Bad Beats: Kiss The Girls
Your weekly gambling column, featuring smart plays, oddball propositions, all your tales of woe — plus, betting advice from a 13-year-old boy! Send your stories to [email protected]. Subject: Bad beats....
This North Jersey-Indianapolis Turf War Is Getting Out Of Hand
No Taser this time, just a Jets fan getting his skull broken in a fight after Sunday's game. No suspects yet, as Midwesterners don't snitch, out of politeness. [Staten Island Advance]...