Football Page 1516 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
College Football Roundup: The Big 12 Meets the SEC
It's Oklahoma and Florida for the BCS Title—an imperfect end to a season when no football team was perfect. Except, you know, Utah and Boise State. But they don't really count. What with their small conferences and even smaller media markets and exposure. The BCS is fair and impartial. Except, you ...
This Must Be Some Sort Of Mistake
I see the words that have been hastily scrawled with Magic Marker on this sweat-soaked towel, but I'm not sure I understand what they mean. It seems to imply that the Cardinals are in fact the NFC West Division champions. The Arizona Cardinals? The football team? Whatever! (Let the record show that ...
Morten Andersen Retires
Someone finally informed the NFL's all-time leading scorer that he is no longer in the NFL, so he officially announced his retirement today from Denmark. Andersen played 25 years for five different teams and the 63-yarder he hit in 1981 is still a Big Ten record. [AP/Google]...
Michael Vick Spent $201K On The Day He Went To Jail
First off, I think it's a ton of shit when the media point to professional athletes as people that "have it all," as they've been saying about Plaxico Burress, for example. One thing they don't have? Common sense, apparently (who wears sweatpants to a club?) Michael Vick reaffirmed as much, when a r...
How Great Was That Play? So Great I Could Punch My Coach In The Face!
BeamerBall had a new wrinkle installed before its clash with Boston College in the ACC Championship yesterday. Anytime Virginia Tech comes up with a big play, someone walks up next to Coach Beamer and knocks him upside the head. Must've worked, as the Hokies took care of business yesterday and walke...
1 PM Games: Your Last-Minute NFL Cheat Sheet
Atlanta (8-4) at New Orleans (6-6). The Atlanta Falcons would get the 6-seed in the NFC playoffs if the NFL season ended last week. New Orleans needs to win here just to stay alive in the wild card race (they're tied for 10th with the Bears), but the Saints really need to win out or their season is ...
Big XII Championship Live Blog: #2 Oklahoma Vs. #20 Missouri
Now that you're all hero-ed out from the SEC Championship, certainly there's enough quarterback love letters in your back pocket for Sam Bradford and Chase Daniel in the Big XII Championship in Kansas City. The Sooners are about 17-point faves, which means the live blog will be interesting by, oh, m...
Oklahoma Controls Its Own Destiny...And Pretty Much Everyone Elses'
Missouri was a sexy team this time last year, poised to shock the college football world and play for a national championship, and then it shit the bed against Oklahoma in the Big XII Championship. Now the boot is on the other foot, with the Sooners poised to punch their own ticket to Miami and a BC...
Previewing Your Late Games, And Doubting The Injury Reports
Alabama vs. Florida at Atlanta, GA. So Urban Meyer says Percy Harvin isn't gonna play (he's being listed as doubtful, which, really, means nothing). And the doctor said it wasn't contagious. At least it wasn't before I started picking it. Alabama has been blowing teams off the ball all season, and t...
HUGH: Looking Good, Fighting Forces Of America...I Guess...
Navy 17, Army 0, Half .Navy's Shun White has 122 yards and a TD. The only thing uglier than Army's play is their uniforms. If the camo really worked, WE WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO SEE IT. Oh, how I wish that were true. But stop and think about this: shouldn't these two teams be ganging up on The Russians o...
Previewing Army-Navy And The Rest Of Your Nooners
Army vs. Navy at Philadelphia. The only tradition in this game of late is Army getting continually walloped by Navy. The Black Knights haven't won this game since 2001, meaning that three classes of Cadets went through West Point without beating Army a single time. Don't expect any different this ye...
MAC Championship Live Blog: #12 Ball State Cardinals Vs. Buffalo Bulls
This is pretty much the only way Ford Field gets to host a championship football game. The Chirpin' Birds of Ball State will try to stay undefeated — again — against the blue-colored Bulls of the University At Buffalo. The winner gets to move on to play an important bowl game ... in the SAME FOOTBAL...
Federal Judge Blocks NFL Suspensions
Have you made your NFL picks for this weekend? (Just for fun! No money, right?) You might want to hold off on a couple of those games, since a few of the rosters won't be finalized until a judge makes up his mind about the suspensions of the six players who received four-game bans for using an illeg...
Bottoms Up, Hawkeyes: Ruminations On Metrodome Bathroom Sex, Plus, How To Make A Bull Gator
Time for another edition of Waxing Off, the feature born of that venerable site The Black Table and carried over here and given a sporty new coat of paint. This week we've asked five talented female writers to ruminate on: Lois Feldman and the Iowa Hawkeye Metrodome Sexcapade....
How The Gruden Stole Christmas
So are we pretty much agreed that the Big Three in Christmas specials are The Grinch, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and A Charlie Brown Christmas? (Apologies to Will Leitch). Well, one of these will not be seen in the Tampa Bay area as scheduled on Monday, as ABC is pre-empting A Charlie Brown Chri...
College Football Preview: Why Conference Championships Suck Edition
Of all the ridiculous aspects of the BCS system, the conference championship game pisses me off more than any other because it points out the flagrant hypocrisy of the college presidents. In the same time period when they've fought a college football playoff because of the time it would add to the ...
Bernard Hopkins Not Exactly In Donovan McNabb's Corner
And now a few words from Bernard Hopkins, former middleweight and light heavyweight world champion, Philadelphia native (Germantown), prison guest and all-around badass. Subject: Donovan McNabb. Venue: KNBR-680 (San Francisco) radio, Thursday afternoon. Mood: Huffy. Key quote: "I wish the Wizard of ...
Rudy Carpenter Still Having Trouble Behaving At Basketball Games
Folks may remember Arizona State quarterback Rudy Carpenter and his preference for not-gay pink shirts. Well, it seems that going psycho at college basketball games isn't enough juice for Rudy, so he took his act on the road—and recently got himself ejected from the gym at a girl's high school baske...
Meet Your New Washington Football Coach (Allegedly)
Coaches who follow in the debris-littered wake of Tyrone Willingham don't tend to fare well; just ask Buddy Teevens and Charlie Weis. But apparently Steve Sarkisian is willing to give it a shot, as ESPN and the Seattle Times are both reporting that his ascension to the head coaching position with th...