Football Page 1517 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Spurned Belichick Superfan Blows A Gasket
Laura London was a big Patriots fan. Specifically, a Bill Belichick fan. She started a website devoted to him, and ran it faithfully for years. Then she tried to sell it to the team for $1 million. That's when things got interesting....
Utah Joins Pac-10; Spacetime Folds In On Itself
TERROR! SCHOOL IN AMERICAN SOUTHWEST THAT USED TO PLAY SPORTS AGAINST SMALL SCHOOLS IN WESTERN STATES WILL NOW PLAY SPORTS AGAINST LARGE SCHOOLS IN WESTERN STATES! [Salt Lake Tribune]...
Canceled Training Camps Are Early Warnings Of NFL Labor Strife
Jacksonville and Detroit became the third and fourth teams to cancel OTAs after players complained about the workouts. Have today's players turned into delicate little doilies, or is it the hand of the union at work in advance of contentious CBA negotiations?...
Philly Police Confiscate Gun From Marvin Harrison
Marvin Harrison is apparently still under the watchful eye of the Philadelphia PD as a traffic stop just three blocks from his garage turns up another 9-mm handgun that they will add to the investigation of the Dwight Dixon shooting....
Texas A&M AD Challenges Alum To Fight, Alum Sadly Doesn't Accept
Bill Byrne, athletic director at Texas A&M, made an embarrassing gaffe this week when he revealed himself to be a terribly old man who doesn't understand email. He should know by now that all internet threats are empty threats....
Albert Haynesworth Continues To Out-Haynesworth Himself
It seems that the NFL's most well-paid defensive lineman finds playing defensive lineman to be an unreasonable job requirement and wants to be traded—even though his stupidly gargantuan contract makes that impossible....
Entire Canadian Football Team Suspended For Steroids
Nine University of Waterloo football players are suspected of possible steroid use, so the team's entire season has been canceled. (There may have been a smidgen of drug trafficking, too.) That's Canada, for you. Always so....reasonable. [OttawaCitizen]...
Conference-ocalypse Averted, Big 12 Is The New Big 10
So today was apparently not a good day for the Big 12 to die. Despite all reports to the contrary, Texas will apparently stay in the Big 12 South and the Pac-10 is now stuck with Colorado....
FedEx: When You Absolutely, Positively Need Your Son's Team To Play In A BCS Conference
Memphis, stricken by Realignment Fever, is trying to negotiate their way into a bigger conference or, failing that, find a wealthy benefactor to buy them one. Thankfully, they (and their quarterback) have an international conglomerate at their disposal....
Nebraska Dumps Big 12 As NCAA Apocalypto Machine Continues To Churn
HOLY FUCKING HUSKER DICK. NEBRASKA HAS VACATED THE BIG 12 AND HAS FORMALLY APPLIED TO THE BIG 10, BUT SINCE TWO TEAMS LEFT THE BIG 12, WILL THERE BE TWO BIG 10'S NOW OR TWO BIG 12'S? CHEW ON THAT. [TeamSpeedKills]...
Boise State To Mountain West; Course Of Human Existence, WAC Football Irrevocably Altered
APOCALYPSE! SCHOOL IN IDAHO THAT USED TO PLAY SPORTS AGAINST SMALLISH SCHOOLS IN WESTERN STATES NOW PLAYING SPORTS AGAINST SLIGHTLY LARGER SCHOOLS IN WESTERN STATES! [TheMWC.com]...
Here's A List Of Things That May Or May Not Happen Tomorrow
Sources tells us that all of the following things are true, unless they turn out not to be:...
Report: USC Football Gets 2-Year Bowl Ban
It only took six years, but USC is finally getting called to the NCAA principal's office. Postseason ban, loss of scholarships, games and possibly that 2004 national title. You know, now sounds like an excellent time to join the Pac-10....
Golden Tate's Dramatic 911 Donut Call: "They're Drunk And Being Retarded"
Listen in as an exasperated donut maker asks police to save her from two buffoons who stole her donuts and her keys. Also: an NFL wideout with "average" build who is "maybe 5'9"? Maybe he needs more than donuts....
Golden Tate Breaks Into Donut Shop Due To Maple Bar Addiction
Police were called to Top Pot Doughnuts in Bellevue, Washington, at 3:00 a.m. on Saturday after two men were found entering the store after hours. Turns out new Seahawk Golden Tate just had a case of the munchies....
Aaron Rodgers Enjoys Low-Hanging Fruit, Blasts Tony Kornheiser
Not only did the Packers QB call TK terrible, unfunny, and clueless, but he did it on ESPN Radio. This is not what the WWL had in mind when they consolidated their media empire....
Conference Realignment Will Tear Us All Apart
We're on the verge of the biggest conference realignment in the history of college sports, but if it happens ... will it still be college sports? Or just pro football that happens to take place near schools?...
Charges Unlikely In Packers Sexual Assault Allegations
Police investigating the Packers sexual assault case will turn their findings over to the DA tomorrow, but the AP is reporting that they will not recommend charges for anyone. It's still a good idea to avoid Wisconsin Dells strip clubs....
Police Investigate Possible Sexual Assault At Green Bay Packers Party (UPDATE)
Seven Green Bay Packers were found at a rented condo where two women told police they were assaulted on Saturday morning. Six of the players were cleared, but one unnamed player is still under investigation....
Clay Matthews Not A Fan Of "Clay Mathews"
Clay with two Ts gets disrespected by the sign makers at his own charity golf tournament. Thankfully, water slides solve everything. [Twitter]...