Football Page 1517 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
JaMarcus Russell Is The King Of Mardi Gras
Russell, the newly crowned King Elexis I, will lead the Mobile Area Mardi Gras Association parade. He'll also show you his C-cups for some beads. [Press-Register]...
The Saints Go Marching In Without Deuce, Governor
Boy, wasn't it inspirational when New Orleans signed Deuce McAllister before the Cardinals game? The beloved superstar and former face of the franchise, back for one final hurrah. Sorry Deuce, you're cut....
Rex Ryan Is Fat And Happy
Ryan, seen here in a rare between-meals period, consumes 7,000 calories a day and has never ordered a salad, according to "team sources." Things are good in Jetland if this is what's being leaked. [NY Post]...
Mississippi State Recruits Enjoy Ponies And/Or Strippers
It seems that quite a few high school football recruits made their campus visit to Mississippi State this weekend and a few mentioned enjoying something called "THE PONY." You don't think they're talking about Starkville's greatest strip club, do you?...
One-Fourth Of Lane Kiffin Rumor Turns Out To Be True
A Knoxville Lexus dealer confirms that a car they leased to Kiffin through the university was involved in an accident at some point in the past. Feel free to jump to whatever conclusions you deem appropriate. [WVLT]...
Bills Hire Football's Answer To Tim Floyd
Chan Gailey, a man who lasted just three preseason games in Kansas City, will now have the honor of being fired by the Bills sometime next November, according to a guy on Adam Schefter's bowling team. [ESPN]...
Cum On Feel The Poise
Mark Sanchez threw for 100 yards and a pick yesterday, but he also managed not to light himself on fire or dance the hoochie coochie at midfield, so once again everyone has termed his performance — sigh — poised....
Falcons Player Lawyers-Up Against Websites That Claim He Used To Boink A Dude
Ovie Mughelli of the Atlanta Falcons hired an attorney to cease-and-desist websites that linked to an interview MissJia.com had with a man who claimed to have had an intense sexual relationship with the fullback over many years....
Jets Fan Arrested For Liking Jets Too Much?
This overenthusiastic Jets fans was hauled out of Qualcomm Stadium yesterday for ...? We're not exactly sure, but when even the Chargers fans are defending his incessant hooting, you know something's fishy....
The Jets Win The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the New York Jets, who somehow keep winning games they shouldn't even be playing in. How are they not blowing it?...
Fighting Irish Fighting About Kelly's Irishness
A religious magazine is questioning whether Brian Kelly is Catholic enough to lead Notre Dame, noting his association with pro-choice politicians. But football's football. If Kelly makes a BCS Bowl, even Jesus might let this abortion thing slide. [Irish Central]...
NFC Playoff Open Thread: Buzzsaw. Fleur-De-Lys. Go.
Chris Berman boldly predicted this game would be a "shootout" with a final score of "77-75." That means everyone should take the under immediately. Biggest question of the day: "Will the 'Fuck Da Eagles' gal make an appearance? [NFL.com] [Photo-via]...
Poise To Men
Mark Sanchez went 12-for-15 and threw for 182 yards in his first playoff victory, and because at no point during the game did he chuck the ball into the Ohio or crap himself, he was deemed a model of poise....
There's Not Much Football In Your Football
The Wall Street Journal broke down exactly how much game action there is in the average telecast. Want to guess? Not even close. Guess again. Nope, less....
Because Hiring A Famed Coach's Son Worked Out So Well Last Time
Everybody and their mother is reporting that Derek Dooley will be the next coach at UT. But he'd have to break his contract with LA Tech! I'm sure indignant Vols fans will heap scorn upon him as well, right? [Tennessean]...
Romo-Favre Manlove Getting A Little Unbearable
Thank goodness the game's just two days away. We're dangerously close to the two just calling a press conference and fellating each other in front of the assembled media....
Ravens To Appease Football Gods With Ritual Animal Slaughter
Baltimore will display the lobsters won in a bet with Massachusetts's governor last week, as a warning to the Colts tomorrow. It's better than that time Ray Lewis sacrificed two people, and won the Super Bowl the next year. [AP]...
Bad Beats: And A Child Shall Lead You
Your weekly gambling column, featuring smart plays, oddball propositions, all your tales of woe — plus, betting advice from a 13-year-old boy! Send your stories to [email protected]. Subject: Bad beats....
Breaking: BCS Supported By People It Supports
A whopping 73 percent of coaches, including TCU's and Boise State's, support keeping the BCS system the way it is. In a related statistic, 73 percent of schools competed in a bowl of some sort this year. [Orlando Sentinel]...
So About That Marvin Harrison Story...
Isn't it annoying when journalists do better investigating than the cops? Philadelphia's new district attorney has called in the FBI to take a fresh look at the case. [ESPN.com]...