Football Page 1541 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Anything That Doesn't Require Watching The Game
By the way, athletes are always being hammered for having "contract years," in which they play harder when they know they're going to be a free agent. Shouldn't Brian Billick have to give back part of the contract extension he got last year? That team's offense has never, ever gotten better, and now...
You Have To Triple Team Josh McNeil
Tennessee center Josh McNeil has a history of problems with alcohol, including a public intoxication and underage drinking charge that kept him out of five spring practices, quite the punishment. But after an incident this weekend, we now know the truth: Josh McNeil doesn't have an alcohol problem ....
Kirby Freeman Did Not Have a Good Day
It’s nice to see that someone took the time to dedicate a video to Kirby Freeman’s other-worldly stat line from Miami’s overtime loss to NC State. 1-14 84 yards 1 touchdown and 3 interceptions—that’s just fantastic. But hey, that 84 yard touchdown was probably the highlight of the day....
Ground Bacon Burgers For All
The Mighty MJD's Smorgasbord runs every Monday. Do enjoy. • The waitress this week is Muff Stubble Girl, who you might recall from past Smorgasbords this season. I shouldn't call her that anymore ... one, because it's not very nice, and two, because her pants are at a reasonably normal level these d...
Norval the Franchise Killer
The best thing about PJ's record-breaking performance might be this picture of Norv Turner reacting to the horror he's forced to witness. This might be my new favorite photograph of all time. I think I'm going to send it off to be made into a custom Fathead. Or maybe I can have it airbrushed onto my...
Patriots Fail to Cover Spread, Claim Hollow Victory
• Was there ever any doubt? You could tell that it was just a matter of time before Tom Brady and Randy Moss could stick a dagger through the Indianapolis defense. For three quarters Tony Dungy's Colts controlled the field, but you can't keep a good man down long, and the same can be said of Bill Be...
Peterson Breaks Rushing Record, Transubstantiates
Forget about rookie records, Adrian Peterson is going after bigger game. It's taken Minnesota's first-year wunderkind a mere eight attempts to break the NFL's record for rushing in a game. The 296 yard eruption led the Vikings to a 35-17 flattening of the San Diego Chargers and put Peterson over the...
New England Patriots Are The Saviors Of Alefgard
And there it is. The New England Patriots collected the Stones of Sunlight, the Staff of Rain, and the Token of Erdrick. Tom Brady will promptly whisk Princess Gwaelin away to a bed and breakfast somewhere south of Cantlin. Meanwhile, Bill Belichick will now reproduce a set of Erdrick weapons and ar...
Championship Team Takes 13-7 Halftime Lead Over Legendary Team
Marvin Harrison isn't playing in the game, which my keen awareness picked up on sometime in the first quarter. So the backup No. 1 wide receiver for the Colts happens to be Joseph Addai, I guess. He has 107 yards receiving on top of his usual job of 80 yards rushing. He's also filling in for three b...
Detroit Lions Sweep The Leg On Broncos
The appetizers leading up to the Colts-Patriots were actually rather satisfying. Most of the games were very close in the fourth quarter, and a very large defensive lineman had to run fast. The Patriots-Colts, Texans-Raiders, and Seahawks-Browns are the only afternoon games. But first, let's look at...
Hoping The Patriots And Colts Play To A Tie Game
M'kay. It's getting to be that time, so let's get the Patriots-Colts preview out of the way. I hadn't even thought about who I thought would win this game until this weekend, when I put New England in my friend's NFL picks pool. It was a rather anticlimactic and unfulfilling finish to a week of spec...
The Reggies Are Running Rampant In New Orleans
Okay, which one of you smart-alecks told me that the Jaguars had a good defense? Because then I went and told everybody, including my local priest, and now I just look foolish. Most of the touchdowns were scored by one of many Reggies (Bush has two for the Saints, and Williams caught an 80-yard pass...
Just Another 16-Hour Workday For Herbie
I may have been the last person to notice that ESPN College GameDay dreamboat staple Kirk Herbstreit has also been in the booth for that night's ABC prime-time football game. Oftentimes, those two locales are in different areas. But I think yesterday's cross-country trek had to be one a logistical n...
Two Undefeated Teams Demoted To Sorta-Defeated
• Oregon 35, Arizona State 23 — ASU decided to go with the "dig selves a 21-3 hole, and see if we can get out of it" defense, but it backfired against them. Oregon will probably move from their previous ranking of 5th up to third because... • Florida State 27, Boston College 17 — ...a football tea...
While at a Denver-area restaurant, John Elway was cut off from alcohol after the restaurant manager claimed he tried to order his eighth glass of wine. Even if he had seven glasses, he still would have been able to legally drive at least 98 yards on streets in the Cleveland area. [Rocky Mountain New...
Let's Get This Sparty Started
Michigan State's fervor in this game against Michigan seemed to have died last night in that basketball loss to Grand Valley State. The Wolverines are up early in this one 14-3. It's as if something John L. Smith said last year finally sank in with the MSU players this afternoon....
Brett Favre Embodies The Tecmo Bowl Pass Play
I'd assume that a Tecmo Bowl Byron Leftwich would keep cycling through his receivers with the B button until someone sacks him....
Kansas Builds A Rather Portly Lead
It seems like the majority of the readers — at least those with Instant Message accounts — are taking notice of Kansas ripping through Nebraska 48-24 at halftime. Virginia and Wake Forest are also trying to make the game interesting, but failing, as the WF Deacons lead 16-10....