Football Page 1542 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Audacity Of Hope
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap With the economy in a tailspin and Congress ignoring the auto industry's bailout pleas, it seems only fitting that this is the year that the Lions make their most serious push towar...

Thursday Night Preview: #23 Miami at Georgia Tech
These Thursday night ACC Football previews are starting to have a Groundhog Day quality about them. (Insert team here) controls their own destiny unless they lose in which case the same scenerio repeats itself again, and again, and again. Shoot me now. This is why we need a college football tsar (o...

Former Viking Would Very Much Like To Hit Brad Childress In The Head
Current Jaguars wideout Troy Williamson spent his first three seasons in the NFL angering Minnesota fans with his mediocre play and current Vikings coach Brad Childress spent his first two years angering Minnesota fans by putting him into games. Of course, all of this happened during the downtime wh...

Dim-Witted Donovan McNabb Sick Of Talking About Dim-Wittedness
Obviously, I'm not happy about how things in Iggle-ville right now, but given my state of euphoria after a Phillies championship it's tough to get too angry about the dumbfounding dipshittery that has crippled this football team this year. Granted, the recent revelations about Donovan McNabb's compl...

The Return Of Pacman, Ocho Bencho, And 'At The Movies' With Tony Romo And A Homeless Guy
• Wait, Is That Pacman Jones' Entrance Music? Adam Pacman Jones is back — a fact which absolutely thrills this particular writer: "The NFL's poster child for foolish behavior is returning to the Cowboys. That's right, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell has reinstated Pacman Jones, giving him yet another...

Another Michigan Football Bet Gone Awry
Mike Stone says that he is not a good looking man, and is an even a worse looking woman. The Detroit sports radio personality, who has a weekend show on WXYZ-TV, bet someone at the station that Michigan would beat Purdue, and as a result had to do his show in drag. I think we're all losers here. Bet...

Wednesday Night Live Blog: #17 Ball State at Central Michigan
Ahhh. Mid-American Conference football. You were born a fan, it's just that nobody told you until tonight. The undefeated Ball State Cardinals flutter into Mount Pleasant to tangle with some fired up Chips. Winner probably wins the MAC West Division, a fact which you already knew. Also something you...

You Too Can Book Will Smith And Tony Romo For Your Pep Rally
When I was living in South Lake Tahoe, Kevin Costner randomly showed up one day at South Lake Tahoe High to talk to the students in the drama department. He had filmed The Bodyguard at nearby Fallen Leaf Lake, and returned to the area occasionally for vacations. Something similar happened at Dallas'...

Mike Leach Mesmerized By UFO's, Barry Switzer Card Tricks
Mike Leach, head coach of Texas Tech and one of the most prolific distributors of free ham college football has ever seen, has visited the UFO exhibits at Roswell, N.M., and declared them "awesome." He is also the master of voodoo card tricks, and has stared down the biggest tornado in U.S. history,...

Baby Mangino's True Identity ... Revealed!
You know, when this loveable little tyke first appeared in the inbox, no one knew where he lived or what his secret Clark Kent-like identity was and, frankly, I didn't want to know. The mystery was part of his charm, like a magic trick you can't figure out, but after the strong outpouring of support...

Bookie Mom's Big Day And Other Fallout From The Steelers-Chargers Debacle
Since football fans don't have much else to do between Monday and (now) Thursday nights, there's still plenty to talk about when it comes to that crazy Pittsburgh-San Diego game that changed the face of gambling sports for ever. Of course, just because we're talking about it, doesn't mean we're "tal...

Brett Favre And Jets GM Mike Tannenbaum's Broseph Love Is Boundless and Obscenity-Laden
The New York Jets were fired up after their victory over the dastardly Patriots last Thursday night and rightly so, considering all that was on the line. But no one was more excited than the ol' gunslinger, Brett Favre, who shared an unreserved embrace with Jets GM Mike Tannenbaum after the victory...

Rich Rodriguez To Michigan Fanboys: "Get A Life"
It's safe to say that the Rich Rodriguez Era at Michigan is not going as planned. (If you're a Michigan State or Ohio State fan, however, you're probably thinking that it could not have been planned better.) The Wolverines are in the midst of a historically awful season that has fans and alumni noti...

Shocking New Evidence In The Natalie Nelson/USC Song Girl Investigation
You remember Natalie Nelson, the USC Song Girl who infamously cheered for the wrong team when Texas scored a touchdown in the 2006 Rose Bowl. She's back in the news, as Scott Wolf of the Los Angeles Daily News has unearthed a photo of Ms. Nelson at a 2006 Halloween party wearing as her costume ... a...

Chinese Democracy, 15 Years Down, Five Days To Go
Of all the Guns 'N Roses stories, the "Rocket Queen" one is my favorite. When "Appetite For Destruction" was recorded, the moaning sounds on the album's closer (which might be my favorite G'N'R song, actually), were captured while Adriana Smith, a 19-year-old stripper who had been dating drummer St...

ESPN Extends BCS Nightmare By Ponying Up More Cash Than Fox
Since 2007 Fox has broadcast the BCS Games. Sure, this was a little awkward because Fox didn't carry college football on the network during the regular season, but it worked. Kind of. Now, ESPN has done what ESPN usually does — gone and outbid the competition for the rights. (Doesn't it kind of mak...

Faltering Bills Encouraged By Female Makeout Session
First it was the man and woman getting it on in one of the restrooms, and now this ... as a couple of apparently hot chicks celebrate a Bills touchdown on Monday Night in their own special way. Who would have thought that Ralph Wilson Stadium would be the NFL's hot, sensual love palace? Just what el...

Monday Night Football Fever Is Not All You'll Catch
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap With staph infections running rampant in the NFL these days, it's nice of random fans to warn us of potential hazards. That's a rather nasty case of it under that Browns supporter's...

Monday Night Live Blog: Browns-Bills
Never before have so many Midwestern teams that aren't actually located in the Midwest been in one stadium at once! The disappointing Cleveland Browns and differently-but-equally disappointing Buffalo Bills will battle to the frigid death to see who's less disappointing team of all. It's going to be...

Finally; Rosie Perez Arrives To Explain This NFL Tie Business
The more I hear about it, the more convinced I am that this Eagles-Bengals tie quote is going to be Donovan McNabb's legacy; like Chris Webber's time out with none remaining, or the ground ball through Buckner's wickets. I'm not saying that's fair, it's just the way it's gonna be. Because when video...