Football Page 1549 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Happy Valley, Bloody Sunday Morning
How long must we sing this DUAN? College football team has unusual amount of success; college students and townies with a taste for danger stumble into the streets; police break out the riot juice; hilarity ensues. Welcome back to the club, Penn State! Your celebration after last night's defeat of O...
Why Can't NFL Fans Celebrate Like That?
To my knowledge there haven't been any delightful female-on-female celebrations in the stands at today's NFL games, but as we all know the real action takes place in the Carolina bathrooms. Fortunately the games themselves have produced their own entertainment, unlike your average Big 10 game. New ...
President Condi Possible This January in San Francisco?
Condoleezza Rice, National Security Adviser to President Bush Secretary of Flippin' State (and we're rather embarrassed about THAT), has been fishing for an NFL job post-Executive Branch for awhile. She's quoted in 2002 trolling for the NFL Commissioner position (only to be beaten out by Guantanamo ...
NFL Update 4: Welcome To My Nightmare
There's really no good reason to run this photo, especially in relation to any NFL Update post. But when something like this lands in your inbox, forcing you to spend the next hour washing your eyes out with lava soap, even though you know it's never going to escape from where it has burrowed on th...
NFL Update 3: Like A Kid Out There
Like a stupid child, Brett Favre just couldn't stop throwing the football to the other team today, giving away 3 interceptions (one of them as bad of a pick you'll ever see) against a Chiefs team that isn't - how would one put this? - very good. And that was before they lost their starting RB for s...
NFL Update 2: Who Is The Eighth?
Looks like we got a few more names on WaterPillGate. Jay Glazer is reporting that the two Minnesota Williamses - Pat and Kevin - both tested positive for whatever it is people are testing positive for these days. That'll put a decent-sized hole in their defensive line. Glazer also says Falcons defen...
NFL Update 1: Blackout!
Let's get you folks up to speed, our friends in Detroit who have taken a noble stand by refusing to pay big bucks to watch a horrible football team. Unfortunately, this little bit of protest has forced them to deal with the dreaded NFL blackout. We're here for you, D-Town. Washington 3, Detroit 10....
College Football Recap: Giggity, Giggity!
Were there a whole lot of football games being played by college students yesterday or what? Let's recap all of the Top 25 games - you can look up the rest on your own - trying to only use about sentence or so for each one because baseball will not let anyone sleep! (1) Texas vs. (6) Oklahoma State...
NFL Voids Jim Haslett's Contract
Well, this is certainly some unexpected news. Jim Haslett, the hot-headed interim coach of the Rams who signed a contract with the team guaranteeing they remove the "interim" label next year if he wins 6 games, was just informed by the league that the contract no longer exists! Because they tore th...
Fog Slowly Lifting On NFL Steroid Scandal
Remember how yesterday it was reported that a whole bunch of Saints, including Deuce McAllister, tested positive for steroids, or steroid masking agents, or something else equally illegal? Well, the man on the scene Chris(t) Mortensen has learned himself a few names to go along with those allegatio...
Tony Zendejas Will Knock You Out, Take That Booty
If you're like me and start your morning off by going through court proceedings of sexual abuse cases - don't you dare judge me! - you tend to become desensitized by most of the testimonies regarding these brutal escapades. But when you read something like "the largest anal tear the medical examiner...
What'll They Do to Joe Paterno: Embalm Him?
We'll bite: we don't know how Joe Paterno did it. We're baffled. Everyone (including us) had him written off for dead at Penn State and officials in Happy Valley looked for graceful ways to remove the body from the scene of the crime and somehow a student must have done something and now the program...
College Football Preview: Check Your Messages Knowshon
LSU fans aren't only the most insane in college football, they're also the most resourceful. Perhaps insanity and resourcefulness aren't conflicting traits after all. Why do I say this? Because for the second year in a row LSU fans have made the cell phone lives of their opponents miserable. You'll ...
Springtime For Lou Holtz ... ESPN, Double Standards And You
Once upon a time, a site called The Black Table had a regular feature entitled Waxing Off, in which women gathered in an online roundtable to discuss issues of the day, and also to make fun of Will Leitch's shoes. And so we got to thinking: With so many great female sports bloggers out there, why no...
Pittsburgh Police Praise Santonio Holmes' Performance During Drug Bust
Some people might say it's foolish to smoke pot in your car, especially when you're driving it around with expired plates, but in Pittsburgh it's not what you do, it's how you react after being confronted with your misdeeds that matters. It seems that Steelers wide receiver Santonio Holmes made the ...
The Curious, Somewhat Icky Kellen Winslow Case Lurches Ahead
So to bring you up to speed here, Browns tight end Kellen Winslow says that he's been disrespected by his team; Cleveland general manager Phil Savage says Winslow has a big yap and deserved to be suspended; and everyone involved is airing their grievances through the media. Meanwhile, the Browns med...
Chris Johnson's Musical Stylings Not A Hit With NFL
I've always thought that the NFL was a bit stodgy when it came to their touchdown celebration policy; playing the Mr. Belding in the Saved By The Bell that is our nation's most popular televised sport. But that being as it is, there is a rule in place against end zone shenanigans, so the Titans' Chr...
Thursday Night Preview: Auburn at West Virginia
Tonight ESPN brings you a match-up of teams whose fans are pissed with their lives, their teams, and the fact that it's only October and they're already prepared to start discussing next year's football season. What's the most surprising thing about both teams so far this season? How godawful the of...
Tom Brady Isn't Doing So Hot
If you see Tom Brady this weekend, don't ask him about the knee! After finding out that his joints aren't made out of cotton candy and lollipops, doctors are worried about an infection that arose after his ACL reconstruction. They have now performed three separate procedures to try and fight it, and...
Texas A&M Fans Take Online Trash Talking To Bizarre New Levels
Their football team may 2-5 and winless in their conference (and they haven't even played Oklahoma or Texas yet), but the Texas A&M boosters behind AggieReport.com are winning at least one battle this season. Their smack-talking YouTube videos are a surreal little slice of internet joy.They make ve...