Football Page 1602 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

We Knew We Were Lame For Letting People With Tees Into Our Birthday Parties
All told, we realize now that our Sunday evening was rather sedate. (Chocolate milk, Fig Newtons and Diner Dash, now that you asked.)...

The Dangers Of The Play-Calling Screens
You know how it goes. It's a hotly contested game of Madden, or NBA Live, or, say, NCAA Football 07, and you played your ass off and you lost on a last-second touchdown and you think your buddy was sneaking looks at your plays and you threw the controller across the room and you tried to get the l...

If Only There Were A Logical Time To Drink It ...
You know, we were fully aware that the Oklahoma-Texas football rivalry — if you missed it in all the playoff business roaming around these parts, they play this weekend — was a pretty big deal, but we'd always felt it lacked the critical component of beer....

Philadelphia Prepares For Battle ... And It's Never Too Early
Apropos of nothing, we've decided to attach a picture of Donovan McNabb doing shots to this post. Forgive us....

Go Wildcats!
Hey, when your team scores the game-winning touchdown, and you happen to be standing next to a cheerleader ... well, it's an exciting moment. We'll just say that....

There Are All Kinds Of Ways To Cheer For Your Team
They do some unusual things involving football down there in Texas, but this strange cheering tradition from the Texas A&M Aggie Corps might very well be the weirdest. We don't have the foggiest idea what's going on there, and we're not sure we want to know....

Ron Zook, Water Skiing
After our Illini's shocking upset victory over Michigan State on Saturday, we felt like we had no choice but to post this picture of coach Ron Zook water skiing. Weeeeee!!!!!...

NFL Roundup: Orton Should Be Getting To Bed Right About ... Now
• So we actually stayed up and watched the full scale of the Bears' dismantling of the defending NFC champions last night, and we're pretty sure nobody's going to beat Chicago for quite a while. It actually hurt us to watch them hurt the Seahawks; everyone looked bigger, stronger, faster, meaner. ...

NFL Week Four, Update #4
• New England just ass-romped the Bengals. This was not something I had anticipated. The Patriots offense was struggling, their secondary was hurting, and I thought Carson Palmer and the Bengals wide receivers would take advantage. 'Twas not the case. Laurence Maroney gashed them all day, Corey Di...

John L. Smith Knows What You're Thinking
And he's acting accordingly:...

NFL Week Four, Update #3
• The Raiders are confusing me. Maybe it's just because they're playing the Browns, but they're rolling. They got a touchdown from some damn linebacker who ran for a touchdown after Rueben Droughns politely handed him the football. And Lamont Jordan, who I actually thought passed away in the offse...

NFL Week Four, Update #2
• The Jets damn near pulled off the greatest play in the history of sports. It was one of those, "Hey, let's keep lateralling the ball and see what happens" deals that always ends in miserable failure, but this one last about seven minutes and made a hell of a lot of progress before finally peteri...

NFL Week Four, Update #1
• Drew Bledsoe and Terry Glenn have hooked up for two touchdowns, sending the message to Terrell Owens, "You know, we'd be fine if you did kill yourself. Owens himself has caught 3 balls for 73 yards, though he did drop a pass in the endzone. Kim Etheridge ran immediately onto the field and claime...

NFL Week Four Preview: Hello, Young Man
• Cowboys @ Titans. In one game, we've got the NFL starting debut of Vince Young, and the possible appearance of a guy who may or may have made an effort to feel the sweet release of death earlier in the week. How much more could you possibly need? When the Titans made the announcement, I wonder if ...

Taking Down The Field Goal Posts: Outcoached By Ron Zook
• Illinois 23, Michigan State 20. It doesn't say much for the day of college football when the biggest stories of the day were a couple of close calls, and the upset of an unranked team. Illinois stole the show yesterday, knocking off Michigan State by a score of 23-20, notching their first Big Ten ...

For Your Sunday Afternoon Viewing Pleasure...
First, your NFL Scoreboard....

Hugh Johnson Project, Update 4
"Did NBC just say that Brady Quinn shaves his whole body? He's more woman than his transexual brother." - deadringer...

Hugh Johnson Project, Update 3
"They just showed Dexter Manley Jr.'s name on the screen. Must have been a proud moment for Papa Manley, too bad it looked like DJHBVJ MTAGIV." - TacoBellManager...

Hugh Johnson Project, Update 2
"Do you ever suspect the signs behind the GameDay crew are longer and better thought out than any paper those kids ever submitted?" - Tuffy Rhodes...

Hugh Johnson Project, Update 1
A sign at College Game Day: "LOU HOLTZ FOR PRETHIDENT." Way to make fun a man's lisp. Stay classy Iowa. - EPS...