Football Page 1603 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Plaxico Burress Saga Will Never End
Remember this guy! Captain Sweatpants? Ringing any bells? Well, you may have assumed that he was already in jail or worse (the CFL), but his trial hasn't even started yet. And now it won't until 2010! Did someone say J-E-T-S?...
Guy That Enabled Kurt Warner's Career Retires
As a very, very late bloomer to football, one of my first memories was hearing about Rams quarterback Trent Green down for the count in 1999....
Hines Ward Slowly Turning Into Bill Cosby
From his interview on NFL Live today. If this guy tries to sell you Jell-O Pudding, just smile politely and slowly back away. [ESPN]...
Falcons Officially Release Michael Vick
I don't understand. Did he do something wrong? [ESPN]...
A Lesson In How Not To Spin, Courtesy Of The Florida Gators
Twenty-four Florida Gators have been arrested since 2005, a number of such apparent talismanic significance that the Orlando Sentinel decided to publish a "database." The school, understandably peeved, responded with a master class in how not to respond....
Alabama Football Forced To Give Up Wins
Alabama's football program will be placed on probation today and be forced to vacate at least 10 (and as many as 21) wins from the 2005-07 season. That ... hurts?...
UCLA QB Announces Transfer Via Bizarre Press Release
Fact: A redshirt sophomore named Chris Forcier is leaving UCLA to play ball at Furman. Fact: His family decided to announce the move with one of the more batshit loony press releases you'll ever read....
Brad Childress Is Full Of Crap
Brad Childress came out of hiding today to complain about all those unscrupulous reporters and their unnamed sources who make up lies about Brad Childress and create nothing but trouble. Trouble he could end in two seconds if he'd just pick up the phone....
Chad Johnson Loves His Quarterback, Uncomfortable Sexual Metaphors
OchoCinco on his relationship with his Bengal QB: "We're like Brokeback Mountain. I'm going to be with Carson so much in July that I'm going to be the nanny (for his new twins.)" That's not....awkward. [Bengals; PFT]...
Owen Daniels Uses Facebook To Negotiate New Contract With Texans
Owen Daniels, Houston Texans tight end and perennial fantasy sleeper, has taken his dissatisfaction with his current contract public to both friends and strangers across America on his Facebook page....
Ha Ha ... Tom Brady Fell Out Of A Boat
World's Fanciest Human can't even row a kayak down the Charles River without needing to be rescued from knee-deep water! What's that? Still a good-looking, supermodel-having NFL quarterback? Well....at least I didn't fall out of a boat! [Boston Herald]...
Only One Week Left In The Brett Favre Saga
Have mercy, the most annoying story in sports will soon be at end! Unless it doesn't end. Which it won't. Because everything Brett Favre does is special and important and you will never be free of his all-seeing ethereal form....
ESPN Now Enabling Lane Kiffin's Recruiting Violations
Stop me if you heard this one before: Lane Kiffin may have committed yet another recruiting violation. I know the man can't roll out of bed without doing something wrong, but does ESPN really need to be his facilitator?...
This Is What You Get For Being A Slacker
If education is a carrot-and-stick operation, then for students in the Cincinnati, the reward for good grades was a chance to meet the Bengals at Paul Brown Stadium. Marvin Lewis accidentally invited the life of the party instead. Oops!...
Football, The Layla Kiffin Way
Tennessee is hosting a football clinic designed and held exclusively for women, starring special guest speaker....Layla Kiffin. Dudes already contemplating discrimination lawsuits, cross-dressing options. [Clay Travis]...
Travel Tip #14: Never Take A Road Trip With Mack Brown
Texas' Mack Brown was one of the D-I coaches bunking up on that gladhanding Middle East tour this week, and he was kind enough to keep an online diary so everyone could know how godawful it is live over there....
Donte Stallworth Pleads Not Guilty To Manslaughter Charges
Donte Stallworth's lawyer was in court today to plead not guilty to DUI manslaughter charges and will likely try to use the quirks of Florida law to reduce the charge and keep his client out of jail....
Dallas Cowboys Get What They Want, When They Want It
Irving, Texas, officials possibly suspect that the Cowboy's practice bubble that collapsed last month may have lacked some structure integrity. (Ya think?) They're fairly confident, however, that anyone other than the Cowboys would never have been allowed to build it....
Twitter Posts Aren't Real Journalism, Silly!
Like many newspaper reporters, Tampa Bay beat writer Rick Stroud uses Twitter to connect with his readers and talk about whatever happens to be on his mind—but if you're stupid enough to take his Twits at face value then that's your own stupid fault....
Not Even Tasers Can Stop The Gators
Florida's starting cornerback Janoris Jenkins had a brainstorm this weekend, powered by a few thousand watts of taser juice courtesy of the local police. As if that could ever slow down a Gator superstar....