NFL Page 1153 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

We Are All Dave McKenna V
Presenting, once again, Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we will be linking daily until Snyder's dumbass lawsuit gets laughed out of court. Today's topics: Baja Fresh, propaganda, and Dan Snyder being a petulant shit....

The Somewhat Romantic Story Of Mark Sanchez And A 17-Year-Old Girl
This is a story about a famous quarterback's courtship of a 17-year-old girl and the girl's conflicting emotions about fame. No one committed any crimes, as far as we know. It's perfectly legal for the New York Jets' Mark Sanchez to date a 17-year-old girl. He can do it in Manhattan. He can do it at...

A Comprehensive Guide To That NFL Commercial With All The TV Characters
One of the best ads on last night's broadcast was for the NFL itself, in which they digitally inserted jerseys and logos into TV clips of yore. But the cuts were too quick to fully appreciate. Here's an annotated guide to the fake people inside your television, and their allegiances....

Bob Kraft Still Doesn't Want To Talk About Spygate
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: some folks, like Roger Goodell, just won't let Spygate die....

Guns N' Peas Is Where The Trajectory Of Man Began Its Steady Decline
So the Black Eyed Peas covered "Sweet Child O Mine" at the Super Bowl last night, with Slash helping out on guitar. First of all, FUCK YOU SLASH. You just spent the last bit of goodwill you earned from NOT being Axl. Secondly, the journey to our eventual self-extinction has begun....

Counterpoint: But People Look Really Sad When They Can't Get Their Super Bowl Seats
This young cheesehead cried (video here, H/T reader Patrick) when he, along with 399 others, could not get into last night's Super Bowl. He cries for the others, young and old, left out in the Arlington cold. They will leave Super Bowl XLV with $2,400, tickets to next year's Super Bowl, and nothing...

Point: Those Fans Without Seats Are Being Whiny Babies
About 1250 fans ticketed for temporary seating areas found out before the game that, oops, the seats declared unsafe by the fire marshal. The NFL took good care of them though, to the point where the other 102,000 fans at the game ought to be jealous....

We Are All Dave McKenna IV
Here, once again, is Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we will be linking daily until Snyder's dumbass lawsuit gets tossed. Today's topics: vanilla ice cream, literalized metaphors, and Dan Snyder being a petulant shit....

Your Super Bowl XLV Morning After
There was a football game on yesterday; perhaps you watched it. Perhaps you didn't! We're not here to judge. But either way, there are some thing you're going to need to know for you to face the disapproving glares of your families and coworkers....

We Are All Dave McKenna III
On the third day of linking to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder" until Snyder's dumbass lawsuit gets thrown out of court, let's tally the team's playoff accomplishments since his reign of ownership commenced....

One Of Antonio Cromartie's Baby Mamas Is Writing A Tell-All To "Help Women"
After noting that New York Jets cornerback Antonio Cromartie is known for "siring nine kids with eight women in six states," the New York Post gets right to the crux of ex-fiancée Rhonda Patterson's tell-all book's jacket cover....

We Are All Dave McKenna II
On the second day of linking to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder" until Snyder's dumbass lawsuit gets thrown out of court, this website brings to you the first of many excerpts from said story....

Let's Put Talk Of Dallas Weather...On Ice
Maybe you've heard that it is cold in Dallas, Tex. this week. Frigid, some say. Icy. Admittedly, dangerously icy. If not, here's a recap. It includes weather predictions for the 2014 Super Bowl, which, for all we know, could include Thundersnow....

Soaring Moments In <em>SI</em> Super Bowl-ese
Sports Illustrated put all their Super Bowl coverage ever in one place. This is good for you, if you are Ernie Accorsi, or something. Otherwise? You get 44 years' worth of melodrama, dated references and similes....

How Much Does NFL Seeding Really Matter?
This is Regressing, a new, numbers-minded column by our clever friends at the Harvard Sports Analysis Collective. Today: Why it's good to be king of the regular season....

Falling Ice At Cowboys Stadium Causes Serious Injuries
At least seven people were injured outside Cowboys Stadium after being struck by chunks of ice. Most stadium entrances have now been blocked off. [Dallas Morning News]...

DeSean Jackson: Renowned Punt Returner, Defender Of Bullied Children
DeSean Jackson's punt return once made a grown man strip and a Katie Bakes enter "the penultimate phase of depression"; after yesterday's appearance on The View with new pal "whoopi goldbird," he inspired a bullied child to cry in gratitude....

Are You In Packer Or Steeler Country?
Well, a good rule of thumb is looking to see whether your hometown has a higher incidence of chronic respiratory problems or diabetes. If those data are inconclusive, consider this helpful interactive infographic. [Fast Co. Design]...

Leave Ben Roethlisberger Alone
This photo is of Big Ben at a restaurant, posing for a picture with a fan. Maybe he had a drink or two with dinner. If ESPN's previous mini-circus was any judge, expect them to go with wall-to-wall coverage on this one....

Why Getting A Super Bowl Commercial Banned Is Good For Business
You knew this already, but producing a commercial designed to get rejected is a much more cost-efficient way to get your ad out there than actually having it run on the Super Bowl. [Slate]...