NFL Page 1216 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Hunkification Of Mark Sanchez Begins
No one has any idea when or if Mark Sanchez might quarterback the New York Jets, so if you're going to take advantage of his god-given manliness to sell some magazines get on that now....
Yep, Brett Favre Is Definitely Coming Back
Non-retired football star Brett Favre has called in Dr. Andrews and will (reportedly!) have surgery on his bicep next week—which is not something a 39-year-old typically does unless he wants to play more professional football....
Terrell Owens Makes Buffalo Seem Like An Exciting Place To Live
Terrell Owens has been a Buffalo Bill for all of about six hours, but he's already the most beloved free agent acquisition in the history of football. Although to be fair....we are talking about Buffalo....
Bills' Hall-of-Famer Bruce Smith Charged With DUI
All Bills' bad behaviour, all the time! The all-time sacks leader was pulled over and arrested early Friday in Virginia Beach, Virginia....
Bills' Fullback Arrested on Charge of Exposing Sexual Organs
Urgent bulletin! New York City's public masturbation epidemic is spreading Northwards across the state!...
Wait ... Michael <i>Irvin</i> Is A Stand Up Guy?
Cowboys scouting assistant Rich Behm is still recovering from the "building" collapse that paralyzed him two weeks ago, but Michael Irvin of all people has swooped in to help out....
And Now The Smooth Christian Rock Stylings Of Ben Utecht
Cincinnati tight end Ben Utecht just dropped his first album, a collection of gospel-tinged inspirational power ballads—because when you think "Bengals football" you should also think about the Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ....
Ed Hochuli Curls The Pain Away
Speaking of terrible referees, what's Ed Hochuli been up to this winter—besides sculpting those beautiful 14-inch guns? [ESPN]...
Is Brett Favre Coming Back Out Of Spite?
You didn't think you were getting away with zero Brett Favre news today did you? My favorite angle of the saga? Favre only wants to play again so he can screw with Ted Thompson....
Why "Madden" Designers Watch More Game Film Than John Madden
Meet the EA Sports designer who puts together the playbooks for Madden football games. He's the reason you need a three-year NFL assistant's gig to figure out the damn game. [Sports Prose]...
Albert Haynesworth Sued, But No Hard Feelings
The man injured in a car accident involving Albert Haynesworth is suing the Titans lineman for $7.5 million. "He's the man, but I'm still not mad. I don't have anything against him." [Tennessean]...
And The 2009 Brian Baldinger Award Goes To...Torry Holt
The former Rams' wide receiver instills confidence in his catching ability in front of a confused Jacksonville press corps. [With Leather]...
Sports Feuds Used To Be Much More Macho Than This
Four of the most-loathed things in America (Missouri Tigers, Washington Redskins, sports radio, and Twitter) converge for an epic battle of (t)wits. Susskind and Hawking got nothing on Daniel and Dukes. [NBC Washington]...
Former AFL QB, VP Nominee, HUD Secretary Jack Kemp Passes Away At 73
Jack Kemp, best known for his work with supply-side economics and frequent runners-up Bob Dole and the Buffalo Bills, has lost another battle — this one to cancer....
Saints Players Just Want To Hang Out With Their Wangs Out
New Orleans is certainly a wild and wacky place, but that doesn't mean you can go around waving your junk at women in public willy-nilly, even if you're a member of the New Orleans Saints....
The Dolphins Will Play In Landshark Stadium
In an effort to turn Dolphin Stadium into the world's largest Margaritaville. Although it's not expected to draw nearly as many people as the bar's other locations. [Miami Herald]...
Michael Vick Has Always Enjoyed Pitas ... Er, PETA
Michael Vick is ready to fulfill his community service requirementshis dream of defending animal rights in a PETA ad. The guy just really cares about this issue for some sudden unexplained reason!...
Chris Mortensen's Son Signs With Tennessee, Chris Mortensen Does Not Report
Anonymous sources close to the Titans have told ESPN's Chris Mortensen that the team signed Arkansas fourth-string QB Alex Mortensen as an undrafted free agent. His own son did not return calls requesting comment. [ArkansasBusiness]...
The Legendary Redskins Ticket "Waiting List" That Doesn't Exist
Dan Snyder likes to brag that the waiting list for Redskins season tickets has over 200,000 names on it. Then why is the team begging people who aren't on the list to buy seats?...
The War On Braylon Edwards' Manhood
Does Braylon Edwards care more about his image than he does about catching footballs? Because lately it seems that he's not doing a very good job of protecting either one....