NFL Page 1324 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Bad Sign for Brady Quinn: He's Taking Joe Theismann Seriously
Brady Quinn's dreams had just been peed on for 4½ straight hours before finding out he was going to be spending his career in the high-fashion mecca of Cleveland ... I thought we could all forgive him if he looked a bit disheveled. Joe Theismann could not....

That's All We Needed Was MORE Paris Hilton Jokes
So that Peyton Manning on SNL appearance that we all liked a little more than we were expecting? Well, turns out the main reason Matt Leinart fired his agents last week is because that wasn't him on the show....

Brady Quinn Is Making Friends
We're not sure what's going on with this photo, which appears to be of the newest Cleveland Brown Brady Quinn — sans more hair and gallons of pomade — and, frankly, we don't want to....

Christian Okoye Would Like You To Walk His Plank
The Fanhouse has our favorite story of the day: Former Chiefs running back/bulldozer Christian Okoye is appearing on a CBS reality show called "Pirate Master." (We didn't know "master" was a rank of pirate, but whatever.) Here's the synopsis:...

It's Almost As If — NO! — Michael Vick Was Lying
So you know how Michael Vick says he had nothing to do with that whole dog fighting business? Well, SHOCKINGLY, his explanation has some holes in it. Big ones....

Yes, She Should Fit Right In With The Dawg Pound
Via ESPN's Draft Blog and Hardaway Hates Pittsburgh, we present the aunt of new Cleveland Browns offensive tackle Joe Thomas....

Keyshawn's Final Moments As A Panther
If you want to relieve the sublime comedy of Keyshawn Johnson's "excitement" after learning that the Carolina Panthers drafted his "buddy" Dwayne Jarrett — thus securing his release from the team — the video above has the complete footage. It was funny at the time, but it improves considerably knowi...

He Makes His Own Holes
In the sixth round of the NFL Draft on Sunday, the Miami Dolphins selected Hawaii running back Reagan Mauia, a cannonball who was actually named after Ronald Reagan. And, as this video shows, he's a fan of the X-Men and loves to smash himself into things....

Pac Man Would Like His Job Again Please
For all the big apology full-page newspaper ads he has placed, Pac Man Jones isn't quite ready to give up the ghost just yet: He's appealing his year-long suspension to NFL commissioner Roger Goodell....

Randy Moss To The Patriots. We Still Don't Believe It.
As we await the inevitable Bill Simmons column about this — Five Tool Tool goes ahead and sums it up for us — we continue to watch our mind boggle over the notion of Randy Moss playing for the Patriots. We've never found Moss as annoying as, say, Terrell Owens, but he's hardly what we think of when ...

Just 363 Days Until The Next NFL Draft!
Like most football fans, we watched the first round of the NFL Draft on Saturday. We were excited at the beginning, fooling ourselves into believing the recitation of names of people we don't know for four hours could be a scintillating experience, and watching Brady Quinn lose millions of dollars e...

This Handsome Steelworker Needs A Name
Another slightly old bit of news that I wanted to touch on was the Steelers unveiling of a brand new mascot. He's part of the Steelers 75th anniversary celebration, along with some new throwback uniforms....

The Miami Branch Of The Ted Ginn Jr. Fan Club Is Struggling
Sticking with the Brady Quinn theme for a second (I can't help it, he's just so damned handsome), that's a Dolphins fan reacting to the Fish not selecting Brady Quinn yesterday. It's nothing personal, of course, Tedy Ginn....

I Can't Even Picture Tom Brady And Randy Moss Standing Next To Each Other
I don't know if this will turn out to be good news or bad news for those of you who are sick of the New England Patriots being a model franchise. They have, according to Adam Schefter at the NFL Network, agreed to trade for Oakland's Randy Moss....

Time For 12 Hours Of Names Being Read Aloud!
We will never forget last year's NFL Draft, when poor Matt Leinart suddenly realized he'd been drafted by The Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals. We look forward to a similar reaction from Wisconsin offensive lineman Joe Thomas tomorrow, who might just jump off his fishing boat and try to drown h...

PETA Not Particularly Big Fans Of Our Man Vick
Some more blowback from the Ron Mexico dogfighting story from yesterday: PETA is calling for him to be released from the team if the allegations are proven true....

If You're Not Drafted Saturday, Friends, Don't Worry!
Before anyone gets too excited about the draft this Saturday, the Hall Of Fame Magazine cautions you to remember some of the great NFLers who were never even drafted. They include:...

Michael Vick Likes To Watch Dogs Kill Each Other
You know, as his "career" "progresses," we're starting to realize that Michael Vick's whole Ron Mexico imbroglio is among his least offensive incidents. (Because there's nothing offensive about herpes. Nothing!) It appears that Mr. Mexico has been accused of hosting illegal dog fights at an abandone...

They Just Love The Browns To The Very End
One thing we will never doubt is the intense, eternal devotion of Cleveland Browns "fans." And "eternal" is the key word: Even those about to be executed are woofing it up....

You Just Know Matt Millen's Gonna Pick This Guy
NFL teams preparing for Saturday's NFL Draft have a lot to figure out an individual player. They need to understand his attitude, they have to make sure he's not gonna get arrested a week after they draft him, they make certain he will fit into the team mindset they have patterned for their franchis...