NFL Page 790 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Tom Brady's Apparently Been Spending His Suspension Tanning His Butt
The New York Post just published a cool update on how Tom Brady’s been spending his Ballghazi suspension: tanning his large white ass in Italy....

49ers' Anthony Davis Retires From The NFL For The Second Time
San Francisco 49ers OT Anthony Davis abruptly retired from the NFL on Monday. It is Davis’s second retirement; he previously retired ahead of the 2015 season. ...


Jalen Ramsey Went And Got Himself On Steve Smith's Shit List
A familiar sight unfolded right after the conclusion of Sunday’s game between the Ravens and Jaguars. Steve Smith, never one to miss a chance to get right up in someone’s ear and talk shit, tracked down rookie corner Jalen Ramsey and, well, talked some shit....

Bills Fans Body-Slam Cardinals Flag Through Table
Two Buffalo Bills fans hopped up onto the bed of a pickup truck for yet another table-smashing, but this instance had nuance....

Colts Radio Announcer Is Really Happy The Game Is "Finally Fucking Over"
The Colts won a nervous game against the Chargers yesterday, finally locking up the victory with a fumble recovery in the final minute. This was a great relief to longtime Colts radio announcer Bob Lamey:...

How Deep Does The Browns' Kicking Disaster Go?
As with all things Browns, failure is not enough by itself. It can never be simple. It must always be exquisite, and multipronged, and avoidable. The Cody Parkey saga, which saw Cleveland’s new kicker miss three field goals including a potential game-winner as time expired, is a great example....

What The Hell Were The Buccaneers Thinking?
There’s no good way to lose to the Los Angeles Rams, a team that scored a grand total of nine points through the first eight quarters of the season and is quarterbacked by something called “Case Keenum.” But of all the possible ways to fall to a team as bad as the Rams (really, there aren’t many!), ...

This Is A Brilliant Way To Exploit The Rulebook
It’s well-known that a kickoff out of bounds is a penalty, with the ball placed on the 40-yard line. It’s less well-known that the ball is out of bounds if it’s touched by any player who’s out of bounds, even if the ball itself is a couple of yards from the sideline. Ty Montgomery knew it....

Ryan Fitzpatrick And The Jets Were "Shitty All Around"
After Eli Manning threw the Giants’ game away, it wasn’t going to be easy for the Jets to wrest away the New York tabloids’ back pages. Well, not only does Ryan Fitzpatrick appear on both this morning, but his achievement was so singular, they were forced to go with the exact same headline: “Pick Si...

Here's An Eagles Fan Wearing A Trump Mask Getting Hit In The Face With An Amoroso Roll
There really isn’t anything else to write. Enjoy the perfect timing in this slice of today’s Steelers-Eagles tailgate....

Patrick Peterson Picks Off Tyrod Taylor With One Hand
Arizona Cardinals cornerback Patrick Peterson had a fantastic one-handed catch as he picked off Buffalo Bills QB Tyrod Taylor today. The play looked even better from the sidelines:...

Don't Be A Mark: Your Guide To Ignoring The NFL Today
Man. Personal seat licenses are quite the racket....

Peyton Manning's Hairline Is A Lie
Eagle-eyed reader Jim writes in that an ad campaign on ESPN.com features multiple Peyton Manning hairlines scattered amongst inane takes by Stephen A. Smith and fantasy football promotions. The former NFL QB is shilling for some brand you’ve never heard of, and when we checked for ourselves we found...

How The Hell Do The Patriots Do It?
Bill Belichick and Josh McDaniels are rightly being universally praised for the game plan that resulted in last night’s complete ass whupping of the incompetent Texans. But the Patriots’ 3-0 start with a pair of inexperienced quarterbacks not named Tom Brady, and a total of 14 snaps with banged-up R...

Report: Jacoby Brissett Needs Surgery On His Thumb
New England Patriots quarterback Jacoby Brissett injured his thumb in Thursday’s game against the Houston Texans and will need surgery, according to Mike Petraglia of WEEI....

You Already Know What Mike Ditka Thinks Of Colin Kaepernick, So Let's Just Laugh At His Big Dumb Head
Mike Ditka, a racist porcupine with a perpetual sunburn, has weighed in on the Colin Kaepernick situation. You really don’t need me to tell you exactly what he had to say about Kaepernick, because you already know that Ditka is a rotten old fuck who has been muttering, “If you don’t like America, yo...

The Seahawks Would Like To See White NFL Players Join The National Anthem Protests
In Tulsa, a police officer has been charged with manslaughter in the shooting death of Terence Crutcher. In Charlotte, a curfew and the presence of the National Guard led to mostly peaceful protests after two nights of clashes with riot police, even as the family of Keith Scott called for the public...

The Texans Were Tremendously Incompetent
The Patriots entered tonight’s game against the Texans as slight underdogs at home, despite a history of destroying Houston anytime they had a chance, especially at home. The Patriots were starting a rookie quarterback, the Texans came in hot at 2-0, and Gronk looked banged up, but the Patriots are ...