Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion

For Your Saturday Afternoon Viewing Pleasure...

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1:00, Fox. MLB. Yankees @ Red Sox, or Cardinals @ Cubs. I heard the Yankees and Red Sox were playing this weekend. Anyone know anything about that?
1:00, ESPN. Little League Baseball. Columbus, Ga. vs. Staten Island, NY. "That's because it's going to Columbus, Georgia. Not Columbus, Ohio. You see these letters by the city? That's called a state. What else ya got, wonder boy?"
2:00, ESPN2. WTA Tennis. Rogers Cup, Semifinals. Dinara Safina vs. Ana Ivanovic, or Martina Hingis vs. Anna Chakvetadze.
2:00, CBS. Golf. PGA Championship, Third Round. Hope you like Tiger Woods.
2:30, NBC. Action Sports. Dew Action Sports Tour, Vans Invitational, Day 1. Alright, I'm just going to be honest with you. I hate these things, and I'm not going to say anything nice about them.
2:45, TNT. NASCAR Racing. Busch Series Carfax 250. My pick to win: Cale Gale in the #1 car.
3:00, ESPN. Little League Baseball. Lemont, Ill. vs. Phoenix, Ariz. LeMont, according to Wikipedia, has a small red-light district known as "Smokey Row." If the LeMont kids win, they should get to spend some time there.
3:30, ABC. WNBA. Houston Comets @ Sacramento Monarchs. All the ladies are starting to grow their playoff beards.
4:00, Fox. MLB. Diamondbacks @ Padres. Only 5% of you are getting this game. And you probably don't even appreciate it.
4:00, ESPN2. MLS. Colorado Rapids @ D.C. United. Just in case those Premiership games were a little too fast-paced for you.
4:30, NBC. Beach Volleyball. AVP Brooklyn Open. The hot item on the Coney Island beach courts? The Starbury One.
6:00, ESPN. Little League Baseball. Saipan CNMI vs. Venezuela. Those quality Levi jeans you're wearing? Possibly made by 9-year-old girls in Saipan. So cheer them on to thank them.
6:00, ESPN2. WNBA. Indiana Fever @ Detroit Shock. Fever, Shock... the winner gets to play with winner of The Plague vs. Spina Bifida.


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