What we watched: Battle: Los Angeles. Why is it that the reason for humanity's destruction is never explained in alien invasion movies? These particular beings wanted our water supply, so they skipped peaceful negotiation and went the "blast you back to the stone age" route. I also refuse to believe that aliens are simply slimy, human-looking creatures with sweeter guns and explosives. Why can't aliens be civilized lions or apes on steroids with futuristic, telepathic weapons that don't involve gunfire? Wouldn't that be awesome? We need some variation every once in a while. Why can't we colonize some sorry-sack planet with aliens for a change? These are all very important questions. Trust me.
Beskitas fans give traditional Beskitas welcome to Emmanuel Eboue, with a possibly racist twist: "The former Arsenal player was pelted with a series of objects including a water bottle and lighters while match officials did little to quell the violence. A section of the crowd were aggrieved at what they deemed an overreaction to a tackle by the Ivory Coast international and made their feelings known both verbally and physically. Eboué claims he was racially abused by the Beskitas fans and comes in the wake of Sepp Blatter's comments that racism in football, between two players at least, could be ended with a handshake after the match." [Telegraph]
Clearly Sidney Crosby needs time to reacclimate: "Completely overshadowing the return of Zbynek Michalek to the Pittsburgh Penguins lineup, Crosby had two goals and two assists to in their 5-0 win over the New York Islanders. And with that we turn the mic over to Bruce Arthur: ‘In his first game since Jan. 5, Sidney Crosby was Sidney Crosby again. And it was, beginning to end, all hockey could ask for.'" [Puck Daddy]
And you thought the Senate would stay away from Sandusky: "Stepping up Washington's response to the Penn State child sex abuse scandal, a Senate committee plans to hold a hearing on whether stronger laws are needed to protect children from child abuse and neglect. Word of the hearing comes as lawmakers from both parties have gotten behind legislation to require that anyone witnessing child abuse report it to law enforcement or a child protection agency. The latest bill, called the Speak Out to Stop Child Abuse Act, was introduced Monday by Rep. Karen Bass (D-Los Angeles) with Republican support." [LA Times]
Your How To Draw A Penguin Interlude:
Progress, maybe: "After filing two separate antitrust lawsuits against the league in different states, NBA players are consolidating their efforts and have turned to the courts in Minnesota as their chosen venue. A group of named plaintiffs including Carmelo Anthony, Steve Nash and Kevin Durant filed an amended federal lawsuit against the league in Minnesota on Monday, hoping the courts there will be as favorable to them as they have been to NFL players in the past. The locked-out players filed class-action antitrust suits against the league last Tuesday in California and Minnesota. The California complaint was withdrawn Monday." [AP]
Your Ron Artest lockout update: "I want to make a trade I'll trade my toenails for chest hairs If u hate ur chest hairs I'll trade u my toe nails" [@MettaWorldPeace]
Merch: Managing editor Tom Scocca and contributing editor Drew Magary have both written books. You can buy Scocca's Beijing Welcomes You: Unveiling the Capital City of the Future here, and Magary's The Postmortal here. Now do it.
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