Gator, Tied Up And Pissed Off, Owns The Hell Out Of His Asshole Captors

Illustration for article titled Gator, Tied Up And Pissed Off, Owns The Hell Out Of His Asshole Captors
Screenshot: NBC4

Do the best you can with what you have—it’s an old idiom, and one that is particularly useful when it comes to explaining the above image. It is also useful to note the pathetic foot at lower left. Here is how it came to pass.


An alligator in central Florida was taking a leisurely stroll through a local neighborhood, presumably during his lunch break. Residents were displeased and in time some shorts-wearing cops and a gator trapper came along and started hassling the alligator, for no reason beyond the fact that it was a terrifying living dinosaur walking around a suburb. One thing led to another, and next thing he knew, the gator had his arms and legs bound behind his back and his snout wrapped up. Helluva day, but our guy knew the drill—just get past the normal tie-up procedure, go through booking, and he’d be back in the swamp by dinnertime.

Well, before he could be loaded in the squad trunk, the bald sunglasses-on-the-forehead doofus of a trapper, decided for unknown reasons to start playing the drums on the gator’s snout. And not like a one-off tap to show off for the small crowd that gathered, but a full fucking Neil Peart solo. We can presume that the gator did not like this because, in a display of incredible snout accuracy, it absolutely owned the shit out of its tormentor.

Let’s look one more time, from another angle:

Keep an eye out for the startled folks in the background, the Incredibly Happy-To-Be-Here-Cop smiling through the violence, the Currently-In-Orbit-Sunglasses, and one very startled older lady:


As one former trapper pointed out, there’s no reason for our bald baddy to have been doing this at all. The trapper wasn’t referring to wearing sunglasses on your forehead, but that was probably a bad choice, too.

This post was updated to include the alternate angle video of the gator’s righteous slap.