Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion

"This guy." "The National Football League." Sportscasters have their own pet phrases, most of which add nothing to the conversation. They're meaningless syllables to fill up airtime, nervous tics that we're used to ignoring, but once you notice them you can't hear anything else. Take Phil Simms, who loves to say "football."

Masochist Ryan Real put together this supercut from CBS's Thanksgiving broadcast, of every time Phil Simms used the magic word. Ryan counts 58 instances, but it feels like five grillion. Simms says "football player" when he could say "player." He says "football game" when he could say "game." He says "football" when he could say "ball." Has the word "football" lost all meaning to you yet? That's semantic satiation, and it means Phil Simms has literally impaired your brain's ability to understand language. Thanks, Phil.


And thanks to Ryan for making this video. Please don't make any more, we can't take it.

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