Elaborate hairstyles of both the well- and ill-advised variety have been a constant throughout Neymar’s career. And while we’ve enjoyed seeing his shift away from the perms he once constantly rocked in favor of more natural, kinky looks in recent years, we hope to God that yesterday’s debut of his abominable fake dreadlocks double as the last time we will ever be subjected to them.
The photo above comes from yesterday’s Paris Saint-Germain vs. Pontivy match in the Coupe de France. The match was less notable for the result—a comfortable 4-0 PSG win over their fifth-division opponents—as it was for the atrocious hair Neymar wore while guiding PSG to victory. The long, ropey, blond locks are obviously fake and they somehow look less natural than Mekhi Phifer’s extensions in 8 Mile and I hate them and hope they die a fiery death.
Neymar has actually experimented with a similar look before. Last March, he posted some Instagram pics of him getting either dreads or braids with what appeared to be his natural hair. However, the result probably didn’t have quite the extravagant look he was after, so he soon took them out. It wasn’t until last month, at the start of PSG’s winter break, that he tried again with these dumb extensions and documented the outcome on Instagram:
Clearly infatuated with his new ‘do, Neymar continued snapping photos of himself with his fauxlocks during his vacation:
By maintaining them through the winter break and showing them off to the world in an actual match yesterday, it looked like maybe Neymar would keep the look and sully not just his social media with his ugly hair, but also the beautiful game itself. However, an Instagram photo he posted after the match, showing his sewn-in dreads either falling out or getting removed, leaves hope that he’s ready to move on to something less bad:
The only kind of artificial hair growth we respect is David Silva’s.