Hugh Johnson Project, Update 1

• I just woke up to find that apparently last night I texted my ex-girlfriend in French... I don't speak French. You think thats a bad omen for the Vols? - Mikel, Lexington, KY

Oui.

• We haven't been to bed and have been drinking since 7 pm last night for the biggest game in the nation ... Benedictine University vs. Concordia University - River Forest (D3). - goathair_3

You gentlemen are my heroes.

• I'm sort of ashamed to admit this, but the story on Gameday about the Colorado guys transporting Ralphie the Buffalo cross-country to Georgia and how they stopped at Colorado Alum's farm and how the Georgia Vet School gave her a place to stay is really cute. Heart-warming, if you will. I hate myself. - Andie

That has to be Andie McDowell. You sucked in Four Weddings and a Funeral, by the way.

• The color guy in the Michigan/Wisconsin game just said Mike Hart is "big and thick below the waist." - dave111177 and TABI

• During the halftime show of the Minnesota-Purdue game on ESPN2, Linda Cohn just talked about the score from the game at "North Lafayette". The Worldwide Leader in Geography, they are not. - Bort

• Doesn't Mario Urrutia sound like a VD? - Ronnie P

• So the Illini game just got pre-empted for a Rinnai showerhead commercial. Yep, that sounds about right. - ButaSmove

• I'm sure you'll get this plenty, and the humor is obviously intended, but Lee Corso just uttered the words "Only a stupid idiot would pick Michigan State on the road - and I'm picking Michigan State." Truer words have never been spoken. - Matt Rizzolo, Arlington, Va

• Chris Speilman after a Wisconsin tackle: "Belly-to-back souffle." Sean McDonough: "May I ask what that means?" Speilman: "Some wrestling term... Sooplay, I don't know." - QuasiHick

• Chris Spielman is one concussion shy of becoming Mike Gottfried. - drocksportsguy

• I don't understand the whole "Pam Ward is a lesbian" thing from the past couple weeks. It's very clear she's the girl who had to get into sports to make guys like her. - The Victoria Times

As always, the AOL Instant Messenger name is DeadspinFootball.