I Don't Like This Mascot 

Meet Hunter, the Edmonton Oilers’ new mascot. Clap! Clap for Hunter! Clap for Hunter or he’ll eat you! He feeds on your applause, or he will feed upon your children.

Hunter is named after “Wild” Bill Hunter, the franchise’s founder, and he’s a lynx—perhaps because the Oilers are so used to being among the first teams to hit them each spring. (That joke only works if you say it out loud. Give me a break here.)

Here is the short version of how Hunter came to be. (The long version involves a midnight invocation and lots of blood of the innocent.)

One of the main criteria was to select a mascot that was approachable and huggable.

Over 2,200 students from kindergarten through Grade 9 were surveyed to identify the most popular of the mascot candidates produced and Hunter, the Canadian Lynx, was “far and away the most popular” according to Harrop.

The other day they took the newly created Hunter to one of the schools used to test market the mascot to show them the result of their input.

It’s a new era for the Oilers. New mascot, new arena, the dissolution of the team’s cheerleading squad—no doubt fed to Hunter—same old lottery contenders.

I really don’t like this mascot. Its head is too big, its eyes too cold and dead. I don’t want to look at it anymore.

H/t Jeff