I Regret To Inform You That Stephen A. Smith Is In A Feud With The Arizona Cardinals

Stephen A. Smith is constantly whapping back and forth between the poles that make up his on-air persona: entertainer and dummy. At the latter, it can be really bad, like when he’s breaking down a matchup by citing three different players who are no longer with the team, or much more harmfully, letting his weird anti-weed stance lead him to say harmful things about addiction. On the other hand, his delivery is always immaculate, and often downright joy-inspiring, especially when his cause is righteous. It can be a pleasure to just sit back, close your eyes, and lose yourself in the rhythms of a Stephen A. rant.

Here’s a good one, from Wednesday, with Smith going off on the Cardinals’ hiring of Kliff Kingsbury as head coach. I don’t quite know what to make of the hiring, but I do know enough not to be getting my football analysis from Smith. So try to enjoy this as pure theater, or just as a professional out there doing what he’s good at. Revel in the dramatic pauses that last five seconds. Marvel at the untranscribable pronunciation of “Bachelor.”

Because these are the dark times, the Cardinals’ Twitter account (which had, at the time, changed its display name to read “Kardinals” to celebrate the hiring of Kingsbury) decided to defend their new coach’s honor and take a good-natured shot at Smith by referencing Hunter Henry, symbol of Smith’s NFL ignorance.

Smith wasn’t going to take that quietly. (Smith doesn’t take anything quietly.)

And that’s the end of that...for now. Stephen A. Smith “will be watching” the Cardinals, so I judge him to be the real loser here.