In essence, giving Tommy Tuberville this award is merely a reflection of ourselves. Or a reflection of part of ourselves, as it were. Tuberville will always be a corn-fed dope. But if it weren’t for the actions of many others, the former Auburn football coach would be restricted to being a corn-fed dope at various autograph shows and radio appearances in various locales in the South. He wouldn’t be an emblem of what is driving the nation into a yet-unknown level of hell. So a bad month for Tuberville is really a bad month for all of us. It would be fine if his own brand of ignorance and idiocy were merely pointing the figurative shotgun at his own face. Instead, he is the shotgun pointed at our face.
So when he’s in a meeting with President Trump and crew on January 5th, the evening before the attempted coup on the Capital, it’s really us who put him in the room. When Tuberville exhibits that he’s never actually read the Constitution, that’s our ignorance. When he wants to keep a president who has allowed nearly half-a-million so people so far to die from COVID-19 in charge to deal with that very pandemic, it’s not just Tuberville who displays no concept of the virus, its impact, or how it was allowed to spread at such a deadly rate. It’s our inability to come to terms with the situation, or even try to understand what has gone on here. Being Rudy Giuliani’s go-to stooge in a bid to try and hold up the ratification of the election is an indictment on both Tuberville and Giuliani, for sure, as together they form “Statler And Waldorf Huffing Paint.” But then whose fault is it that such a cretin exists within the walls of the senate for Giuliani to even call? Whose fault is Giuliani, ultimately?
The problem when an overmatched nitwit like Tuberville keeps falling upward is that they eventually land in a position where they can do real damage. The stakes actually become real. It’s not just a college football program anymore, where the only thing that he can cock up is a win-loss record and maybe a recruit or two. Possibly some funding from boosters. But now Tuberville can author real consequences, and already has. There are people in Alabama that really need help with life matters that they won’t get because this dipshit is too busy doing whatever it is he does. It’s another voice in the lunatic fringe that we’ll never be rid of.
He never belonged on a ballot, much less in Washington D.C., and he’s just another symptom of the stupidity plague that has gripped us. He has never displayed any understanding of any issues, other than he agreed with the demonic moron in the Oval Office at the time, sounded like a Good Ol’ Boy, and was a name that a lot of people already knew. And that’s all it takes far too much of the time. He did enough to show people in Alabama that he would blame others for their problems, which is always music to the ears of a swath of voters, be it immigrants or Black Lives Matter or whatever else. It’s certainly not the constant selection of shitheads like Tuberville that keeps everyone down.
Tuberville only exists to be part of a blockade to liberal solutions, make his constituents feel more secure in their racism and ignorance while telling them it’s not their fault they barely have a pot to piss in, and not provide any ideas of his own. Which is how we keep ending up here.
His medicine-show salesman charm isn’t hard to see through. He wasn’t a good college football coach, and everyone can always see through him as he planned his next move to a bigger program that he could fuck up more royally before doing it all again. There’s nothing about him that suggests he’s even providing a good show to cover for the fact that he knows jack shit about jack shit. It’s right there in clear relief. And yet he seems to keep failing upwards.
Luckily, there’s always a chance that someone like Tuberville will just fall down an open sewer hole or simply forget how to breathe. Hope springs eternal.