Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion

If You Grill All These Foods On Memorial Day, The Planets Will Align

Cold fusion. Mars colonization. A cure for cancer. Peace on earth. Cute li’l goals, I guess, if you’re looking for a self-esteem boost.

Real ambition is grilling your way through this menu in one glorious Memorial Day cookout. You’ll have to invite everyone in town to justify making all this food, but if you pull it off, Congress will laser your name into the surface of the moon. That’s actually in the Constitution! The heroes we honor with this holiday fought to make it so.

Advertisement

Alternatively, you could just pick one or two things off here, and make them, and have a pleasant meal with your loved ones instead of working yourself to death. Up to you, buddy.

Beef

Skirt steak

Flank steak

Advertisement

A T-bone the size of your entire head

Advertisement

Cheeseburgers

Advertisement

Pork

Slow-roasted shoulder

Advertisement

Ribs

Advertisement

Chicken

Barbecue thighs

Advertisement

Boneless, skinless breasts

Advertisement

Seafood

Whole fish

Advertisement

Smoke salmon

Advertisement

Miscellany

Kebabs

Advertisement

Grilled vegetables

Advertisement

Non-grilled sides

Potato salad

Advertisement

Deviled eggs

Advertisement

Macaroni salad

Advertisement

BONUS: Summer-y beverage and dessert list content

Cheap American beers

Advertisement

Tubular freezer pops

Advertisement

“Juice”

Advertisement

Iced tea

Advertisement

Carbonated soft drinks

Advertisement

Good luck, good eating, and happy Memorial Day.


Hey, Foodspin is on Pinterest, now! Go pin our stuff to your stuff, or however that works.

Advertisement

Albert Burneko is an eating enthusiast and father of two. His writing appeared in Best Food Writing 2014 by DaCapo Press. Peevishly correct his foolishness on Twitter @albertburneko, or send him your creepy longform hate-missives at albert.burneko@deadspin.com. Illustration by Sam Woolley.

Peruse the complete Foodspin archive here; you can find lots more Foodspin here.

Share This Story