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Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise

In Australia, Physical Exertion Must Be Silent

Illustration for article titled In Australia, Physical Exertion Must Be Silent

The art of the tennis grunt is a delicate one. You want to get across the gutteral utterance, the growl, while still seeming, you know, kind of feminine. Think more of a howl than, say, a Howard Dean "yeagggghhhh!" But it's just part of the sport, you know? It makes tennis more fun. But not in Australia.

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Yep, it looks like an Australian tennis club has banned grunting. And they're willing to kick out a nine-year-old to enforce it.

Lauryn Edwards was told at the weekend that she could no longer play her favourite sport after a complaint by an opposition player. The Mt Carmel Tennis Club, in Sunbury, told Lauryn's stunned parents, Duncan and Ruth, that the grunting had become too much.

Mr Edwards said the club had asked him for an assurance Lauryn would remain silent on the court. "They told me to guarantee she won't grunt or she can't play," he said. "What do they want me to do? Put Band-Aids over her mouth? They made her cry on the court when they told her."

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You know what? We bet they would want Band-Aids over her mouth. Australians! What's with you guys today?

There's No Grunting Allowed In Australia [Lion In Oil]

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