Penn’s Jakub Mijakowski shoots a three-pointer that would put the team at 100 points.
Image: ESPN+

The Penn men’s basketball team is 5-2 so far this year; freshman Michael Wang has been particularly impressive. Their losses are to Kansas State and Oregon State. The only blip this season so far is losing Ryan Betley for the season five minutes into the opening game. (Penn rallied to win at George Mason, 72-71, anyway. Resilient!)

On Saturday, the Quakers played the Stockton University Ospreys—good nickname!—a Division III team from outside Atlantic City. As such, the game was not close: Penn won, 112-63.

Since the 1990s, when Penn scored 100 points or more at a home game at The Palestra, everyone in attendance would get free cheesesteaks at Abner’s, a good cheesesteak joint near campus. So when Jakub Mijakowski hit a three-pointer with five minutes left to put Penn over the century mark in Saturday’s game against Stockton, it seemed like cheesesteaks were on the way. But there was an unwelcome twist: The Abner’s promotion is dead. Instead, 100 points gets you a free burrito at Wahoo’s Fish Taco, a chain restaurant with a location about a block from Penn’s gym.

Swapping cheesesteaks for burritos is not nearly as absurd as Penn selling out and giving the basketball court a naming sponsor, but it does seem quite unlike Philadelphia! All is not lost, though: A source says the burritos are “the best item” at Wahoo’s. It may not be a free cheesesteak, but it’ll do.