Is It Hot In Here Or Is My Head On Fire?

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"First of all, I would like to thank God ... and his avenging angel, Azrael, swift merchant of death ... through whom all things—including the cleansing fires that wipe away the unholy—are possible. Also, my mom."

Actually, that isn't the archangel or even the Dread Pirate Roberts. It's William (first name only, of course), captain of Brazilian soccer team Corinthians. A team that decided to celebrate their league championship on Sunday with thousands and thousands of paper streamers. And fireworks. At the same time. Thankfully, he was not burned alive on the altar of sport, but it was touch and go there for awhile. "I lament the disorganisation," said teammate Ronaldo. So does William's barber, I suspect.

Corinthians Celebrate Title With Immolation [Unprofessional Foul]

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Your lips say post more soccer stories, but your lips, they lie. Welcome to Tuesday.