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Lump-headed potato man Zaza Pachulia will not be disciplined by the NBA for attempting to punch Iman Shumpert in the dick and balls in Game 4, according to various reports.

You will remember, Pachulia responded to Shumpert reaching in for a loose ball late in the third quarter with first a light shove, and then what certainly appeared to be a pawing shot to Shumpert’s beans:


Pachulia was hit with a technical foul for the move, and the NBA has apparently decided that’s all the punishment a dead-ball groin shot warrants. A Game 5 suspension for Pachulia might not help the Cavs too much, anyway: the Warriors are plus-3.7 during Pachulia’s 53 minutes of play in these Finals, and a much healthier plus-6.3 during the 136 minutes he’s spent on the bench. On the other hand, it’s hard not to daydream about what madness JaVale McGee might get into if he took over Pachulia’s minutes. Alas.

Staff Writer, Deadspin

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