It Shoulda Been You, Bud Selig

Coming soon through Pendant Publishing, the autobiographical thriller: I Was Locked In the Loo: The Giovanni Cobolli Gigli Story. What do you do when you're afraid your league president is being uncooperative? Lock him in the restroom, of course. Oh soccer, you're so cute. (For the record, I tried this several times with Will when I wanted to write the day's most important post, but he always summoned help with his sonic dog whistle). It was Portuguese midfielder Tiago Mendes who locked the Juventus president inside a washroom for over an hour on Sunday.

Apparently, Tiago is desperate to play in the Champions League and was upset at the Bianconeri president for attempting to push him toward Everton and Monaco who are not involved in Europe's premier competition. Thus, Tiago locked Cobolli in the washroom as a sort of revenge. Rumours suggest that he was locked inside for over an hour before Del Piero heard the patron.

Things to do while locked in the washroom: • Compose new Portuguese National Anthem • Erotic soap carvings • Work on Tony Kornheiser impression • Four words: Toilet paper wedding gown • Reenact bathroom stall scene from Witness • New game: Will It Flush? • Realize it's actually more interesting than watching the game Tiago Locked Juve President Gigli In Washroom [Goal]