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Jag Juice Sure Sounds Disgusting

Sometimes there are ideas that should remain ideas. "Jag Juice," the brainchild of a Jacksonville gas station chain, is one of those things. From the limited research (read: looking at this tweet seconds before retching) it appears that Jag Juice is a frozen drink. A Slurpee of sorts.

First, let's address the name: Jag Juice. Listen, I don't want to tell ad wizards how to do their job, but we all remember the Jag Rag, don't we? From that mess, apparently, flowed Jag Juice. Our first mistake.


Our next mistake: the color. Is it urine flavored? I don't know. I do know that, were I in the business of creating Slurpees and decided to create a urine-flavored one, this is exactly what my urine-flavored Slurpee would look like. I'd make it look just dehydrated enough to make you think Hey, I could really go for a Slurpee.

But you know what? I would never make a urine-flavored Slurpee. Because that is an idea that should remain an idea.

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