James Harrison’s heel turn – plus other NFL pro-wrestling grudge matches we’d like to see

Former Pittsburgh Steelers linebacker James Harrison has started a new career, though it isn’t too different from the one he left a few years ago.

Harrison plays a pro wrestler named Apocalypse in the new Starz tv show “Heels.” In a recent sit-down with TMZ, Harrison boasts about performing his stunts for the show.

“The pain is real, but the actual competition of it is not,” Harrison explains.

“The things that we’re doing, we’re actually working with each other to make sure that we do it safely and make it look painful as possible.”

Harrison fits this role perfectly as he looks like he could have been a professional wrestler. He has the size, toughness, and look and demeanor of a natural heel. I can picture Harrison smashing some annoying, patronizing babyface over the head with a chair in a WWE or AEW ring. OK, maybe not a chair shot to the head in WWE, but you get what I’m saying.

Harrison’s role in ‘Heels’ got the wheels turning in my mind, and I thought about something. Who would I pick out of all NFL players, present or past, to go one-on-one in a celebrity grudge match (MTV deathmatch claymation style) scenario? I’ll give you a three-match card.

Here we have the battle for ‘King of the innovative endzone celebration.’ In real life, the former All-Pro wide receivers are good friends. But in the celebrity match ring, friendship is thrown out the window.

This one would not only be brutal but also highly entertaining with these two personalities battling it out. One guy would be taking a sharpie to the referee’s forehead while the other Riverdances on the top turnbuckle.

WINNER = The audience. Each player would be so busy attempting to one-up the other with their antics, the referee would eventually become so irritated, he would declare the crowd in attendance the winner before storming out of the ring.

Yes, T.O. is pulling double duty on this card. Get your popcorn ready! Since Owens didn’t break too much of a sweat fighting in the opener, we figured why not let him get some revenge on his former quarterback. McNabb and Owens began the season like best friends, but the two would become mortal enemies by the end of the 2004-05 season. After Owens threw his QB under the bus and backed up over him following their loss in Super Bowl XXXIX, this relationship was never the same.

Neither guy can stand the other to this day, but it feels like Owens holds onto things for a long time and can take petty to another level. Remember T.O. holding his own private Hall of Fame induction ceremony? Man, it takes quite a bit of gumption to pull that off. In fairness, Owens should have been a first-ballot Hall of Famer.

WINNER = T.O. takes this match hands down. Anybody with balls like that, who is bold enough to turn down the Pro Football Hall of Fames ceremony invitation, is likely to do anything in a grudge match scenario.

You might be thinking this is a mismatch. Brady is still playing, and Belichick has been coaching for damn near 50 years. They aren’t even that far apart in age. This match might be the biggest of all grudge matches. I’m sure if you asked both men off the record, both would tell you that they were the most significant reason the Patriots won 6 Super Bowl rings in 20 years.

Don’t expect this one to be as high impact as the opening bout. You can’t have anyone breaking a hip or dislocating anything. Brady would easily dominate this match for most of the contest. With his band training and core strength, Brady, in all his arrogance, would walk around the ring as if he owned it. Until…

WINNER = An unexpected run-in on behalf of Bellichick by none other than Joe Montana. Montana is upset that Brady is viewed as the GOAT over him despite being 4-0 in Super Bowls and having never thrown an interception in one. Montana helps Belichick get the win.