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Jay Glazer Has An Idea For Making NFL Officiating Infinitely Dumber

Illustration for article titled Jay Glazer Has An Idea For Making NFL Officiating Infinitely Dumber
Photo: Matt Winkelmeyer (Getty)

Crappy NFL officiating marred the end of last season and sent the entire New Orleans metropolitan region into a massive collective freakout that may or may not continue to this very day. The current sorry state of refereeing is the culmination of years of NFL football becoming progressively harder to officiate, and the rules by which it is officiated becoming progressively harder to parse, to the point now where the cooler a play is, the more likely it is to be subjected to and nullified by ultra-slow-motion scrutiny.

Where worthless shit-for-brains idiots like you and I might look for solutions to this problem in the complexity and occasional incompatibility of the rules themselves—or, even worse, might seek contentment in understanding that in a sport as fast and violent as professional football officiating errors are an acceptable inevitability—big-time NFL knower Jay Glazer sees the current state of affairs as essentially a personnel problem. What NFL officiating lacks, in Glazer’s deeply considered and nuanced professional opinion, is Delta Force commandos. Literally!

Here is MY solution to the officiating problem, as off the wall and out of left field as it sounds, I truly believe in the craziness that I’m about to give you. Here’s the solution: change out the officiating department and hire all new officials, all combat veterans special operation backgrounds. Go hire a bunch of Navy Seals, Marine Recon, Delta Force, those guys.

Think about it. They’ll be in the shape to be in better position. They literally can react faster than the rest of the world, even when bullets are flying. They can react quicker than anyone else when something happens on that field.

Also, coaches will be a little less inclined to rip into them out on the sidelines. It’s harder to go yell at a Navy Seal if coaches are upset about a call. Again, their reaction time is better than everyone else’s.


You see, it’s not just that Navy Seals have the lightning-quick reflexes needed to determine whether a football has been caught. It’s also that if Andy Reid gets very pissed off at them they can snap his neck like a chicken bone.

Staff Writer, Deadspin

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