The father of Serbian tennis star Jelena Dokic once considered nuking Sydney, Australia, because his daughter preferred sun and surf to living in the Balkans. Now he only wants to murder the Australian ambassador. Progress!
Damic Dokic was actually arrested in his home country last week, after he threatened to throw a bomb at Clare Birgin, the Australian ambassador to Serbia. Why? Because an Australian magazine published an interview with Jelena, where she discussed the mental and physically abuse that her father subjected her to as young tennis prodigy. (Jelena became an Australian citizen years ago, partly to escape her batshit daddy.) Before he begins the bomb throwing, he requests that the comments be fully retracted—even though he fully admits that the allegations are completely true.
There is no child that was not beaten by parents – same with Jelena."
He went on to tell Vecernje Novosti, another Serb newspaper: "If I was ever a little bit more aggressive towards Jelena, it was for her sake."
Duh! If you want to make a tennis champion, you have to break a few eggs. Or fingers. Dokic won't let a little thing like arrest and confiscation of his secret cache of weapons hold him back though.
Mr. Dokic told Blic, a tabloid newspaper in Serbia, that he had an arsenal of weapons at his house and would only have to click his fingers to be supplied with a grenade launcher.
True. But he has to make fart noises with his armpit in order to get the actual grenades.