Jerry Jones is a more vile vampire than you thought

Learning Jerry Jones is profiting off Texas’ pain is just ... wow.
Learning Jerry Jones is profiting off Texas’ pain is just ... wow.
Image: Getty Images

We’ve known for a while now that even though the overwhelming majority of people are slogging through the pandemic, and a lot pine for “slogging,” the uber-rich have profited even more than they usually do during these times.


Capitalism at its best.

No organization can illustrate the ills and immorality of capitalism better than the NFL, where 30 guys become obscenely wealthy on the literal decomposition of a working force that they then toss aside like a McDonald’s bag when they’re done. And we know that Jerry Jones, bombastic owner of the Dallas Cowboys, is the unseen hand when it comes to the NFL.

But exploiting the bodies and minds of young men for billions while partying with strippers in the owners’ box (or hanging with George W. Bush and Ellen DeGeneres, same thing, right?) isn’t his only trick. Jones’ energy company, Comstock Resources, is profiting hugely from the surge in natural gas prices thanks to the winter storm crisis across The South. Their CFO is even bragging about it.

So you see, Jones is equal opportunity when it comes to fucking over those beneath him. This is America’s socialism, the equal opportunity to get boned by a skeletal, shit-kicking ghoul.

The Bucks are going to do it again, aren’t they? Maybe it’s just a Wisconsin thing?


It’s a little unfair to kick the Bucks when they’re down. Though as many have pointed out, kicking someone while they’re down makes the most sense because they’re that much closer to your foot. Anyway, the Bucks have lost five straight, which includes losses to the Suns, Jazz, and two to the Raptors, all among the glitterati of the NBA at the moment. The Bucks are 6-0 against the Cavs and Pistons, who are doing an excellent basketball representation of the decline of the Rust Belt, and 10-13 against everyone else.

In Thursday’s 110-96 loss to Toronto, it was basically the same story we’ve seen the last two seasons when the games matter. The defense sets something of a red-rover line around the free-throw line to stop Giannis’ drives. He either has to finish or make a pass amongst traffic, and it rarely goes well enough, in either sense, for the Bucks to win. He went 8-for-20 last night. He didn’t make any of his four three-point attempts. Khris Middleton was even worse, at 5-for-13 for 13 points. How you stop Giannis in crunch time isn’t much of a secret, and yet Milwaukee hasn’t really come up with an answer for what to do about it. Giannis is still not reliable outside 10 feet. What’s to prevent this all from collapsing again in the playoffs with a team that’s intently interested in defending this way?


Giannis can find solace in other transcendent players not too far away.

The Packers have had possibly the best QB of all-time in Aaron Rodgers and yet spit up all over themselves when it counts. The Brewers have Christian Yelich, one of the top-five baseball players the past three years. It got them a Game 7 in the NLCS but no farther. This is just how it goes there.


It’s unfortunate, Wisconsin can be a lovely place. Everyone loves knocking back a few Spotted Cows. Maybe Giannis can look forward to a future of doing Wisconsin tourism ads like Donald Driver, where he’s the only black guy in the whole commercial. Seems to be working out for Donald.

We can't be too careful. Two guys in an airport...talking? It's a little fishy.