Photo: Gregory Shamus (Getty)

College football season is nearly upon us, and with it comes the return of America’s favorite milk freak, Jim Harbaugh. The Michigan coach and cow enthusiast scored a key transfer this offseason when he got former Ole Miss QB Shea Patterson to head up to Ann Arbor, and Bleacher Report’s Matt Hayes took a long look at how high expectations are for Patterson in his first year with the Wolverines.

Harbaugh, of course, has spent the month repeatedly emphasizing how the team has four QBs and that he’s “excited to watch them compete.” The man loves pure, unalloyed competition to a perhaps unhealthy degree. The only thing he loves more is red meat, and he doesn’t want his quarterbacks eating chicken for a characteristically baffling reason:

Former Michigan (and current UCLA) quarterback Wilton Speight tells a story to sum it up nicely. Early in his Michigan tenure, Harbaugh pulled Speight aside and told him not to eat chicken, a protein that is considered fairly safe by nutritionists. When Speight asked why, Harbaugh said, “because it’s a nervous bird.”

“He thinks some type of sickness injected its way into the human population when people began eating white meats instead of beef and pork,” Speight says. “And he believes it, 100 percent.”

Okay, sure!

[Bleacher Report]