John Salley Story Corner: A Teammate Has A Disgusting Hookup Failure Of His Own

Every week, John Salley, onetime Bad Boy and currently the arachnoid half of the Spider and the Henchman podcast, will regale us with an amusing and occasionally salacious story from his playing days. Today: an unnamed Georgia Tech teammate has an unexpected girl problem.

OK, so I was playing in college. One of my teammates always had all the hot chicks. He'd find them, on campus. I don't know how you'd find them on the Georgia Tech campus, because at that time it was a lot of guys, all very nerdy.

We were in the dorm, all in one suite. He gets this hot, hot, hot chick and brings her back. We have practice at 4:30, but she's going to give him some and she gives him some. And while doing it—he's wearing it out, and she's hollering, we're laughing—she starts crying. I'm like, aww shit, he went too far.

He asks, "What's wrong?" Then he goes, "Oh my God." She keeps crying. "Oh my God," he says again. "Don't worry, I'll clean it up."

So we run back to the other suite as he runs back to get a towel.

[Ed. note: It it as this point in the story that Salley's guest on the podcast, Rosa Blasi, interjects: "Is this a squirter story?"]

No. She shit.

She shit, and every bit of toxic waste came out of her. We had stolen this new leather couch from coach's office. Literally, she wound up buying this motherfucker everything because she was so embarrassed. She became the most unsexy girl. She may have transferred schools, since I never saw her again. He literally fucked the shit out of her.

The above is adapted from the "Spider Stories" segment on the Spider and the Henchman podcast. Follow John and his podcast on Twitter: @thejohnsalley and @spiderandhench. Subscribe on iTunes.