Bill Belichick: masterful strategist, Patriots legend, nude hot tubber. That last image is now unfortunately stuck in your brain, never to get out, because of Pats wide receiver Julian Edelman.
Edelman’s the subject of an upcoming TV documentary, and in a deleted scene put on Youtube, he describes how one of his first conversations with his coach included way more dong than he ever could have wanted.
The whole story is worth hearing, especially for the way Edelman delivers the final punchline with an impressive Belichick impersonation. But for those who can’t watch, Edelman dates the story somewhere between his rookie year and his fourth season. (That’s how rarely he talks to his coach—he says it’s been maybe eight times over a decade of playing for him.) Edelman was hanging out at the mostly empty Patriots facility around 11 o’clock one night when he stumbled upon Belichick studying film in the weight room.
“I hurry and scatter out of there so he doesn’t by any chance see me,” Edelman says. “That’s the last thing I would want at that time in my life and career, because then I’d have to engage in a potential conversation, and I don’t know if I had the stamina for that at the time.”
But not long after, Edelman ran into Belichick somewhere else, and that’s when the story gets weird.
I just so happen to walk by the hot tub, and coach is in the hot tub. Like, obviously I came in the room to go in the hot tub. But then we made eye contact, and my natural instinct was to turn around like I was going to leave.
But then I saw that he saw that I was in there, and then he got up and got out. And real, real big party foul by coach. I mean, we’re supposed to have shorts on. We’re supposed to have shorts. But I guess at 11 o’clock when you’re the GOAT of coaching, you go wherever you want, free ball.
So I had to hide my absolute face of terror after seeing what I saw and sit in the hot tub.
After finishing up his own tub session, a still-anxious Edelman tried to get out of the building without having to face Belichick—clothed or unclothed. But again, he failed, as the pair turned from separate hallways that connected to the building’s main exit at the same time.
I had to, like, trail him by like a foot. No less, no more. We didn’t say a word. Not one single word. We’re just walking, and I’m talking probably like a 30-yard walk.
I was sitting there and I was in so much disbelief of everything that was going on that night, that I wanted to try to potentially make some small talk with him. I don’t know where I got the confidence but I asked him, “Coach, it’s pretty amazing that you’re here this late.”
And he looked back at me, and without any hesitation goes, “It beats being a plumber. See you tomorrow.” I was mindfucked. I didn’t know what to think, what was he saying. I was terrified, happy, I may have shed a single tear.
Edelman didn’t elaborate on whether or not Belichick’s balls appeared to be properly inflated.