Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion

In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like the wholly baffling sign at last night's Phillies game, which has the Internet abuzz with speculation.

We pride ourselves on knowing lots and lots of curse words. Swearing properly is to us as the Spelling Bee is to Indian kids. But we were stymied when we saw this sign. What in the world is a cum husk?

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A Nebraska football themed porno? A replacement for Buzz Bissinger's omnipresent "douche juice?" The name of some unfortunate soul getting a shout-out on TV?

We turned to Urban Dictionary, which had only one definition — written in April, long before the world became aware.

Many cultures have stories describing the origin of cum husking, which may be roughly grouped into common types. In one type of story, cum husking is born from a world egg; such stories include the Finnish epic poem Kalevala, the Chinese story of Pangu or the Indian Brahmanda Purana. In related stories, cum husking is caused by a single entity emanating or producing something by his or herself, as in the Tibetan Buddhism concept of Adi-Buddha, the ancient Greek story of Gaia (Mother Earth), the Aztec goddess Coatlicue myth, the ancient Egyptian god Atum story, or the Genesis creation myth. In another type of story, cum husking is created from the union of male and female deities, as in the Maori story of Rangi and Papa. In other stories, cum husking is created by crafting it from pre-existing materials, such as the corpse of a dead god - as from Tiamat in the Babylonian epic Enuma Elish or from the giant Ymir in Norse mythology - or from chaotic materials, as in Izanagi and Izanami in Japanese mythology. In another type of story, cum husking is created by the command of a divinity, as in the ancient Egyptian story of Ptah or the Genesis creation myth as a part of Jewish and Christian mythology. In other stories, the cum husk emanates from fundamental principles, such as Brahman and Prakrti, or the yin and yang of the Tao.

stop husking cum and do the dishes, you lazy cum husk.

That was unhelpful.

We're imploring you, the perverts and deviants of Deadspin comment nation, to contribute anything you may know of the meaning, origin and correct usage of cum husk. Winner receives a free cum husk.

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UPDATE: Apparently, it means...nothing! It's just a meme from some punk rock message board. Crossing Broad has the story.

(Thanks to Jaime for the screengrab)

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