Lenny Dykstra, Your Financial Consultant

OK, this was so ridiculous that we have spent the last hour checking it out, lest we be the target of some elaborate ruse. But it appears to be legit: Former human chaw Lenny Dykstra is writing a weekly investment column for TheStreet.com. No, really. Seriously. Lenny Dykstra — or, more likely, his editor — is responsible for this sentence: "Mine Safety manufactures and supplies a sophisticated and comprehensive line of products used by workers around the world in the fire service, homeland security, construction, oil and gas, chemical and other industries, as well as the military."

The Lenny Dykstra who once challenged a Senator to a fight. The Lenny Dykstra who was accused of gambling on baseball. (Oh, and steroids.) The guy who once "wrote" a book in which every third word was "fuck." He is now a financial columnist? We know he owns some car washes, but we thought that was just for the 17-year-old girls.

And now he writes: "Are you ready to talk about cash flow? How about almost $2 billion in cash flow from operations and free cash flow of $655 million?" Honestly, we're not really sure what to do with ourselves right now. We need to sit down. Anybody at TheStreet.com wanna shed some light on this?

How To Keep This Rally Alive [The Street] Say It Ain't So [Attytood] Dykstra Arrested On Misdemeanor Charges [ESPN]