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Let's Take A Moment To Enjoy France's Misery

South Africa is the first host nation that failed to make it out of the World Cup's group stage—but even they managed to humiliate the French and send them home amid one last bit of poor sportsmanship. Delicious.

After losing 2-1 to South Africa today, French coach Raymond Domenech said in the postgame press conference that "I think we need to be dignified both in victory and defeat"—which doesn't explain why he refused to shake the hand of his opposite number. Very dignified indeed! Domenech also refused to explain why, but speculation is that he was peeved with SA coach Alberto Parreira for previously suggesting that Les Blues did not belong in the tournament. Well, obviously that guy was wrong! They scored one entire goal! Their top drawer performance totally justifies stealing Ireland's Cup slot with an outrageous handball. What would we have done without them?

His players aren't any better, either. They whined and protested and staged a ridiculous practice walkout, in addition to playing like total garbage. Captain Patrice Evra—who was benched for the final match—actually had the nerve to declare that he and his fellow players will accept no bonus money upon their return home. Uh, exactly what bonus did he think was coming to him? He and his teammates should be paying back a lot of Francs (yes, instead of Euros) for that stinkbomb they laid on the world. Although, I'm sure the state will organize a triumphant parade down the Champs-Élysées so that everyone can get close enough to hurl dog crap at them.


In the end, we don't have France to kick around any longer. Too bad. Even some Frenchmen admitted that they were glad their team was sent packing, because at least it means snotty Americans like us can't mock them anymore. France's sports minister—imagine if the U.S. had a "sports minister"; what a dick that guy would be—told his team that they "have tarnished the image of France." You mean even more? It's been all downhill since the headbutt, but with this latest surrender, who will be left for the soccer world to point at and laugh?

(Oh. It's gonna be the U.S., isn't it?)

[Photo: AP]

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