Locker Page 1070 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Miami Says It Has Been "Wronged," Demands NCAA Wrap Up Investigation
After the Miami booster scandal broke two years ago, the university swiftly self-imposed a number of penalties, including declaring players ineligible, forfeiting scholarships, and banning itself from the postseason for two years. The NCAA's investigation continued, however—ineptly, corruptly. Miami...

Here's Kareem Abdul-Jabbar Wearing A Darth Vader Mask And Posing With Katherine Webb
If we wanted to, we could probably track down information that would add context to this photo. But we aren't going to do that, because context does not matter in this case. All that matters is that this photo exists and that it makes us laugh, as do all photos of Kareem Abdul-Jabbar posing with sh...

Why Your Children's Television Program Sucks: <em>Max & Ruby</em>
A look at the awful children’s programming you’re forced to endure before you can finally kick the kids out of the TV room to watch sports for eight hours. Illustration by Jim Cooke. ...

"I Chase Him, I Bite Him, Bad Man, He Tasty": Police Dog Writes Witness Statement
Prosecutors in England, prepping for a case, repeatedly contacted a police department for details on the arrest—specifically, they demanded a witness statement from "PD Peach," an officer who assisted. The problem is, PD stands for Police Dog, and Peach is an adorable German Shepherd, and as such is...

Lil Wayne Says He Humped Chris Bosh's Wife
Hey everyone, Lil Wayne is being crazy again. Wayne gave a performance in Houston last night as part of the NBA All-Star Weekend festivities, and he took some time out of his set to take his beef with the Miami Heat to Defcon 1. Recall: Wayne was recently involved in some kind of kerfuffle at a Lak...

The NCAA Has A Lack Of Institutional Control
The NCAA's investigation of Miami screeched to a halt last month, as it emerged that the enforcement program had inappropriately paid booster Nevin Shapiro's attorney to help them nail the football program. That attorney, Maria Elena Perez, was actually on the NCAA's payroll—she received at least $2...

Mark Buehrle Will Leave His Family Behind Because His Dog Is Banned In Toronto
New Blue Jays pitcher Mark Buehrle loves his puppies, American Staffordshire terrier Slater, and Vizslas Drake, Duke and Diesel. But Toronto doesn't love Slater. Ontario has a ban on pit bulls and related breeds, so Slater—big slobbery baby that he is—isn't allowed in the province. So rather than le...

As Charl Schwartzel Lined Up His Birdie Attempt At 17, A Couple In The Gallery Got Fingerbang-y
While the 2011 Masters remains South African golfer Charl Schwartzel's sole PGA Tour win, he hasn't exactly faded to obscurity like many other recent one-and-done major winners. Indeed, Schwartzel found himself a stroke away from a playoff at this weekend's Northern Trust Open in California, a mis...

Deadspin Up All Night: A Song
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. We'll have an open thread for the All-Star game and keep an eye on things if anything crazy happens....

"I Am A Nasty Cribbage Player": NBA All-Stars Discuss What They Could Beat Michael Jordan At Today
The Basketball Jones did a twist on the usual Michael Jordan's birthday fare. Acknowledging that he is one of the most competitive humans on the planet (and pretty good at basketball), TBJ went around asking the All-Stars in Houston what they could beat MJ at, at his advanced age....

Futility: A 2013 Slam Dunk Contest Supercut
It's no secret the NBA's Slam Dunk Contest has sucked for years. With a lack of actual All-Stars competing in what is supposedly part of the league's All-Star Weekend, only spectacular performances from the NBA's lesser-known players could save it from being a complete disaster. No such performanc...

Here's Your NBA Slam Dunk Contest Final Round GIF Collection
Terrence Ross wins!...

GIF: Eric Bledsoe's Second Dunk
Words cannot do justice to Flapping Bill Simmons. Words cannot do justice to Flapping Bill Simmons. Words cannot do justice to Flapping Bill Simmons. Words cannot do justice to Flapping Bill Simmons....

GIF: Kenneth Faried's Second Dunk
Words cannot do justice to Flapping Bill Simmons. Words cannot do justice to Flapping Bill Simmons. Words cannot do justice to Flapping Bill Simmons. Words cannot do justice to Flapping Bill Simmons....

GIF: Jeremy Evans's First Dunk
Words cannot do justice to Flapping Bill Simmons. Words cannot do justice to Flapping Bill Simmons. Words cannot do justice to Flapping Bill Simmons. Words cannot do justice to Flapping Bill Simmons....

GIF: Terrence Ross's First Dunk
Words cannot do justice to Flapping Bill Simmons. Words cannot do justice to Flapping Bill Simmons. Words cannot do justice to Flapping Bill Simmons. Words cannot do justice to Flapping Bill Simmons....

GIF: James White's First Dunk
Words cannot do justice to Flapping Bill Simmons. Words cannot do justice to Flapping Bill Simmons. Words cannot do justice to Flapping Bill Simmons. Words cannot do justice to Flapping Bill Simmons....

GIF: Gerald Green's First Dunk
Words cannot do justice to Flapping Bill Simmons. Words cannot do justice to Flapping Bill Simmons. Words cannot do justice to Flapping Bill Simmons. Words cannot do justice to Flapping Bill Simmons....

Your All-Star Saturday Night Open Thread
All-Star Saturday is fun, but it unfolds super...slowly. For the hours between the skills contest and the three-point contest, the decades between the three-point contest and the dunk contest, and the eons between individual dunks in the dunk contest, an open thread....

Deadspin Up All Night: Harlem Shake At Your Wake
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. All-Star Saturday open thread up soon, just in case it turns kooky. You're Sean's tomorrow. Enjoy the evening....