Locker Page 1353 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Most Pointless Job On Earth (And You Can Still Get Fired From It!)
ESPN is reporting — and apparently they're actually reporting it this time — that the Minnesota Timberwolves have hired former Suns guard (and notorious dater of black chicks) Rex Chapman to be the new general manager of the team. He replaces current general manager Jim Stack, a former Northwester...
Draft Star Warming Up In Underoos
Meanwhile, as Utah's Andrew Bogut talks about the large numbers of big black stiffs, North Carolina guard Marvin Williams — his only real competition for the first overall pick — merely sounds happy to be watching cartoons, drinking Capri-Sun and playing kiss tag....
Bogut Obsessed With Big, Black Stiffs
NBA Draft is tomorrow night, and Utah center Andrew Bogut is expected to be the first pick by the Milwaukee Bucks. Bogut is not considered a can't-miss prospect, and he thinks it's maybe because he is white. In an interview with Sam Smith of the Chicago Tribune, Bogut points out that there are ple...
Mementos Lost To Time
ESPN business reporter Darren Rovell answers a question we've always had: What happens to all the merchandise they make for the team that loses in the championship game? Rovell tracks how merchandisers made "2005 NBA Champions" apparel for both the Spurs and the Pistons — it's only the third time ...
China And David Stern: A Perfect Match
Street and Smith's SportsBusiness Journal reports that the NBA is considering merging with the Chinese Basketball Association. They haven't released any possible terms for the league, but we have a few guesses:...
Cuban Still Under Illusion That Someone's Listening
In yet another of his ranting, "I know how best to market the NBA because I got lucky during the dot-com boom" posts, Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban babbles on endlessly on how the NBA should market itself. He doesn't have any major ideas — other than the usual "let's put a team in Vegas" and ...
OK, We Pick, Uh, Jordan, Magic And Bird. Oh, And Ahmad Rashad
MJ, Bird, Magic To Help Select Olympic Team [Associated Press]...
Carmelo Anthony Burnout Watch
Everyone is all concerned about LeBron James these days, what with the hiring of his buddies as agents and the weirdship going on in the Cavs' front office. But, as always, it seems to be his buddy Carmelo Anthony who's in a vat of water that is considerably warmer. Anthony's recent run-in involve...
Cuban Hopes To Make NBA Like Nascar — Only Blacker
Yesterday we praised Mark Cuban for resisting the temptation to write one of those annoying "you can be a SUCCESS!" books. Of course, he'll pretty much sell anything else. In today's Blog Maverick post, Cuban praises the recent idea of putting advertising on NBA players uniforms. As one message b...
Words Fail Us
Rodman To Participate In World "Wife-Carrying" Championships In Finland [Fox Sports]...
Entering The Draft Too <em>Late</em>
For all the sturm und drang surrounding minimum age requirements and high schoolers entering the NBA Draft, rarely do people consider the poor saps who should have entered the draft, but didn't. At NBADraft.net, columnist Aran Smith looks at a few dolts who cost themselves millions by remaining in s...
Well, Bush Certainly Understands Black People
According to Bloomberg News, the NBA has hired Bush campaign consultant Matthew Dowd to clean up its image and bring in new fans. Dowd, who was Bush's "Chief Strategist" in his successful campaign last November, says he has given the league "some strategic advice," most notably on how to win fans th...
Mark Cuban Gets His Pat Croce On
One of the many things we admire about Mark Cuban is that he hasn't written one of those Donald Trump, Pat Croce-esque books about "How To Be A Winner" or "YOU Can Be A Success!" Cuban always seems to be honest about the whole thing; he had a hot dot-com, he sold it at the exact right time and he'...
Laughing At Phil Jackson Is Always Fun
We're not as crazy about Onion-esque sports comedy site SportsPickle.com as others are. It's nothing against them; it's just that The Onion does what it does, and everyone else is just trying too hard. That said, we had to laugh at this story: Phil Jackson Narrows Coaching Choices Down to Heat, Pi...
Well, There's No Need To Be <em>Smug</em> About It
Thank You, Kobe! [ThankYouKobe.com]...
Yes. He'd Be Just Like Donnie Brasco
"Shaq's interest in police work is very real," says Miami Beach Police Chief Don De Lucca. "I've always said law enforcement is a calling, and I believe Shaquille has been called. He'd be a great undercover guy."...
How To Become Famous? Retire
SportsBusiness Journal — which we actually subscribe to, even though it pretty much requires a second mortgage — gives its yearly Q ratings of the popularity of top athletes. (The rating measures how the general public recognizes people. And athletes are people too, apparently.) The site's subscr...
How The Suns Saved The NBA
We'll be honest: On the whole, we're not really big fans of self-proclaimed Best American Writer Neal Pollack. (We've always considered him pretty much schtick in a vacuum.) But we must admit, his newly posted Slate piece on the Phoenix Suns is kind of brillant. A longtime Suns fan, he argues tha...