Locker Page 1181 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Chris Paul Will Reportedly Go To The Lakers In A Three-Team Trade
The NBA lockout officially ended this evening, when the players and owners ratified the new CBA in Manhattan, and everything else has already fallen back into place: The Clippers signed Caron Butler to a $24 million deal, the Knicks lost out on an opportunity to sign a great point guard, and the Lak...

Kris Humphries's Worst Year Ever Culminates In "KRIS IS GAY!" Tabloid Cover
As the year-end lists filter in this month, remember this: Not many people have had a more humiliating year than NBA free agent Kris Humphries. A year ago, Humphries was known as a mediocre pro basketball player who came off a mediocre bench for the mediocre New Jersey Nets. Now, after a 72-day marr...

The Great NFL Migration Is About To Begin
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Buy Drew's new book, The Postmortal, through here. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

"Honey Badger Does Care": LSU Is Cracking Down On The Proliferation Of Tyrann Mathieu T-Shirts
The school's compliance office has issued cease and desist notifications—with a great headline, by the way—to the makers of several really cool T-shirts, even though the shirts don't mention LSU or Tyrann Mathieu by name. The reason?...

Shane Battier Announces He's Joining The Heat Via Jimmy Buffett Quote
If you were looking for a fresh reason to hate on the Miami Heat this year, Shane Battier's come through for you. The Grizzlies forward announced on Twitter this morning that he's joining the Heat. Somehow, a Jimmy Buffett reference made it into the mix. That alone almost makes this more damning tha...

Deadspin Up All Night: Speak When Spoken To
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Get your release and lessen your load....

Ricky Rubio Can't Believe How Much Basketball These Crazy Americans Play
Ricky's finally set to play NBA ball, but there's a learning curve here in Amurrica: "Yesterday I was looking at the schedule and putting in my iPad, and I was saying 16, 17, 18," he joked with reporters today. "I mean, three games in a row? What the hell?" Also news for Rubio: It snows in Minnesota...

Erick Dampier Is Literally A Textbook Example Of Irrational Behavior
In general, I don't give Erick Dampier much thought, and I'm guessing neither do you. He is far from an NBA superstar, and if he's at all memorable, it's only for having once been memorably overpaid....

Confessions Of A Terrible Father; Or, How To Fight That Urge To Put Your Kid Through A Wall
I got an email this week from a reader named Chris that made me think about the times when parenthood can leave you a shriveled-up, emotional wreck of a human being. This was his email....

Electroshock Gimmick Makes Boring Norwegian Soccer Match Oddly Entertaining
"Shocking scenes unraveled before the eyes of Norwegian television viewers last week during a football match between rival television stations. An already tense atmosphere was given an extra charge on TV2's Golden Goal when the show's two presenters were armed with remote control electric shock ki...

Deadspin Up All Night: Am I Rough Enough? Discuss
Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin. Hickey's around later....

Orlando Magic CEO Steps Down, Allegedly After A Late Night Drunk Dial To Dwight Howard
Dwight. Dwight, are you awake? Pick up, man. Dwight, man, I shouldn't be calling you. My buddy says it's too late to be calling anyone, but I just had to tell you. I..love you, Dwight. You're one of my best friends. You know that? I never told anyone that, but you are like the greatest guy....

ShortCenter: Coming To You Live From The Los Angeles Lakers' Dreamscape
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

Deadspin Up All Night: Chat It Up
Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin. Curl up for that riveting Chargers-Jags game. We'll see you tomorrow....

David Lee Watched Phil Hellmuth Play Poker Into The Wee Hours Last Night
Tipster Calvin writes in, frankly:...

Your 76ers Mascot Choices Are A.) Patriotic B.) Molesty C.) Tripping Balls
Hip-Hop is dead. But of the contenders to the throne—Big Ben, B. Franklin Dogg, and Phil E. Moose—only one can represent the Sixers with hot dog cannons blazing. It's up to you to vote, but there's not really a lesser of three evils here. [Sixers.com]...

College Football Would Love It If You'd Waste Your Time Complaining About Bowl Matchups
You say you're shocked—shocked—that the BCS standings aren't consistent, or some voters made dumb choices, or teams were selected for bowl games based on something other than simple merit. Hi! Welcome to college football! You must be new here....

Deadspin Up All Night: T-A-L-K Talk! Talk! Talk!
Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin. We'll be around, you perfect pieces of ass....

Deadspin Up All Night: Talk It Out
Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin. Enjoy the evening. We'll be around, as always....
