Locker Page 1227 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

"Celtic" Delonte West Gets Into A Locker-Room Fight With Von "Who?" Wafer
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

John Salley Story Corner: A Trip To The Gentlemen's Club With The Wife's Credit Card
Every week, John Salley, onetime Bad Boy and currently the arachnoid half of the Spider and the Henchman podcast, will regale us with an amusing and occasionally salacious story from his playing days. Today: a teammate gets stuck with a big bill....

The John Wall Dance Makes An Appearance On <em>The Daily Show</em>
The John Wall Dance is one of my favorite things, probably because it's absurd and easy for white people to replicate. Unfortunately, Wall's debut came in a blowout loss yesterday in Orlando. Thursday threatened to be a John Wall Dance-less day. Until......

Peeper Videos Of Kevin Durant Are A Dumb Viral Something Or Other For Nike
Here's a peeping Tom-style video, supposedly shot by this kid, in which Kevin Durant supposedly moves into what's supposedly his new house. It's an ad for Nike. Because that's all anything ever is anymore....

Heat Strokes, Game 2: Moon Over Miami
FreeDarko's Bethlehem Shoals, a regular contributor to NBA FanHouse and co-author of The Undisputed Guide to Pro Basketball History (visit the FreeDarko store, too!), is keeping a game-by-game diary of the Heat's season — the one you're pretending not to care about....

Searching For Big Country: An Outsize Guide To The New <em>NBA Jam</em>
This is a story about the new NBA Jam for the Nintendo Wii. It is also a story about the 1990s, the NBA's waning cultural cachet, Bryant "Big Country" Reeves, Asian-Jewish relations, Roenick in NHL '94, nostalgia, and God....

The Killer Squirrel Epidemic Could Spell America’s Doom
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

Cleveland Has A Better Record Than Miami, And Dan Gilbert Does Not Regret A Thing
Dan Gilbert said today that he doesn't regret the open letter he posted for Cavs fans in July. Wise of him. Any middle school girl will allow that it's ill-advised to back down from hate letters written in Comic Sans....

Heat Strokes, Game 1: Should This Diary Be What You Want It To Be?
FreeDarko's Bethlehem Shoals, a regular contributor to NBA FanHouse and co-author of The Undisputed Guide to Pro Basketball History (visit the FreeDarko store, too!), is keeping a game-by-game diary of the Heat's season — the one you're pretending not to care about....

Fist-Bumping, Stationary-Bike-Riding Yao Ming Is The Best
Between this and this, Yao Ming is fast becoming one of the most interesting people to watch doing calisthenics. [via @jose3030]...

Your "Ah, Hell, Let's Just Root For The Comet" NBA Heat-Celtics Open Thread
The NBA season kicks off tonight. It was quite an offseason, but Juwan Howard's title quest begins in earnest tonight. Comment along as you watch and talk about the other games, too....

The Invention Of Air: The Myths Of Young Michael Jordan, Deconstructed
There was a time when Michael Jordan was a very different kind of superstar, writes Bethlehem Shoals in this excerpt from FreeDarko's wonderful and wonderfully idiosyncratic Undisputed Guide to Pro Basketball History. That MJ was edgy and menacing, and he helped make embarrassing music that no one r...

Here's What's Replacing Cleveland's "Witness" Banner
The new banner taking the place of the iconic LeBron image across from the Q? A Sherwin-Williams ad, a tasteful night shot of the city's skyline, showing all four of Cleveland's buildings. [WTAM]...

How Much Would It Take For You To Be A Cannibal?
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Find more of Drew's stuff at KSK or on Twitter. Today, we're covering hotel dining cart theft, train tracks, squirrel fighting, and more....

Chad Ochocinco's Pregnant Pigeon Saga Was A Bald-Faced Lie
This...this is pretty much the most blatant betrayal in the history of sports. We've all watched, rapt, as Ochocinco's pregnant pigeon escaped, returned, and finally gave birth. But we were all hoodwinked by Chad's dastardly deception. J'accuse!...

Paul The Octopus Couldn't Predict His Own Death
Paul passed away peacefully in his sleep this morning, after a distinguished career as a World Cup prognosticator. He was 2. He is surived by his closest relative, Squiddly Diddly. In lieu of flowers, please send tartar sauce. [CNN]...

Kobe Bryant Is Going To Be The Next Brett Favre
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Kobe Bryant....

What Does It Mean When Steve Nash Says The Suns Will Stink?
In an interview with SB Nation Arizona, Steve Nash looked at the Suns' roster and declared, "if I was outside this picture and a betting man, I would probably pick us to be outside of the playoffs." What does this mean?...

Cloying, Thy Name Is LeBron James
Nike's LeBron James has appeared in a new commercial for LeBron James and Nike. It's as transparent as you would suspect, and somehow, it's even worse than the Zombie Earl Woods commercial....

Hakeem Olajuwon And Ramadan: A Statistical Analysis
FreeDarko's Dream Week comes to an end today—buy the book tomorrow—with a statistical analysis of Olajuwon's play during Ramadan that shows just how good he was. [Free Darko; photo via]...