Locker Page 1231 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
How To Ruin Your Father’s Wedding To A Gold-Digging Whore
The easiest test of human intelligence is taking someone to Taco Bell and seeing if they order a drink size bigger than small, even though the refills are free. Now, your letters:...
Everybody Hates LeBron
LeBron James's latest Q Score is out, and to no one's surprise, the country sees him as a huge bastard. That's a lot more names for his enemies list....
Intern Horrors: The One About Rhinoceros Testicles And The Old Munitions Depot
Hello and welcome back to Intern Horrors, the occasional feature wherein browbeaten office lackeys complain about having their brows beaten to various degrees. Today, explosions in close proximity to a stash of rhinoceros testicles, Black Monday, old-man nudity, and more....
John Amaechi Turned Away From Gay Bar For Being Big, Black And Scary
Amaechi says he was denied entry to Manchester gay bar "Crunch" because the doorman said he "could be trouble." His 2.6 RPG beg to differ. [BBC]...
Da'Sean Butler's Very Disturbing Children's Story Has Been Illustrated
Those of you who were too lazy to read "A Short Story" by Da'Sean Butler 140 characters at a time (or even fully transcribed in this post) are in luck. It's been animated!...
Brandon Jennings Is Also Going To Get Beat Up On The First Day Of School
So now the kids are recontextualizing Raiders apparel. Anyone care to explain this? [Twitter]...
A Mixtape For LeBron Is Something We Can Get Behind
Our friends over at No Regard For Human Life put together a mixtape because they've finally decided to break up with LeBron for real this time. Appropriately missing: "I Will Survive" because, well, the Cavs are fucked....
Sacramento Kings Mural Defaced With Swastika
Sacramento PD is investigating whether or not graffiti on a mural of Kings players in mid-Sactown constitutes a hate crime. Considering the graffiti was a swastika painted on the forehead of Omri Casspi—the only Israeli NBA player—it's a decent bet....
Dear Summer, Please Go And Die
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....
Stories That Don't Suck: USA Basketball's 12 Angry Men
From time to time, we'll select stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that we urge you to read for one reason or another. Today: The 1972 Olympic team, still bitter about losing to the Soviets....
Screw You And Your Out Of Office Autoreply
I was on a late flight home last week with my two kids. Our flight was delayed by 90 minutes for a "chemical problem," which I'm certain was airline codespeak for, "the pilot has gotten drunk and wet himself." Anyway, the plane got to the front of the runway, was prepared to take off, and then turne...
Look At These Fucking Hoopsters: "Bo Outlaw" And "Glenn Robinson" Hit Up A Harvard Party
An occasional feature in which we spotlight the ridiculous trend of recontextualized basketball jerseys. Today: Bo Outlaw and Glenn Robinson....
Hey, Let's Check in with Isiah Thomas!
Rejected Knicks "consultant" Isiah Thomas checked out James Blake's straight-set U.S. Open loss to Novak Djokovic last night. He also took a moment to talk LeBron with a pair of reporters. Highlights:...
The Camera Will Always Love Joakim Noah
We get so many of these photos that I begin to wonder if Joakim Noah will ever enjoy an undocumented moment in public or at his local head shop. At least he seems to relish these encounters. I mean, look....
Baseball Is A Sport For Conservatives, Says Conservative
Here's an argument that baseball is inherently right-wing, because it's American, merit-based and unchanging (all false to some degree, by the way). I guess this means football is for dirty pinkos? [Daily Caller]...
This Goalie Has Just The Most Adorable Mask
KHL goalie Vasiliy Koshechkin has a fearsome kitty cat painted on his mask. Its name is Cерьiй, and it is "very bored from being on the side of his head all the time." I can haz intimidation? [Hot Ice via Puck Daddy]...
The Boring Bag! Your Temporary Fun Bag Replacement
While the Funbag is away, we still play, albeit dully. Time for The Boring Bag!...
BREAKING: Short NBA Player Was Jealous Of Slightly Taller NBA Player
Noted short person and former NBA player Muggsy Bogues let the cat out of the bag today, finally coming clean about his jealousy of Spud Webb's ability to dunk. [@muggsybogues]...
Da'Sean Butler's Children's Story Is Very Disturbing
The WVU star and Heat second round pick wrote a children's story yesterday, about dinosaur poop, GameStop and "whoopie cakes." It's beyond bizarre, and he posted it on Twitter, 140 characters at a time....
Spurs Arena Host Arrested, Accused Of Harassing Reporter
Mike Lavender, a fixture at Spurs games, had allegedly started a Twitter account just to accuse a local TV reporter of having an affair with a married man. Was it the Coyote? I bet it was the Coyote.[Express-News]...