Locker Page 1234 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Say Goodbye To The New Jersey Nets
New owner, new arena, new state...and new name. Mikhail Prokhorov has filed the paperwork to get started on changing the name of the team....

Crotch-Kicking Senate Nominee Linda McMahon Assailed From Right And Left As Crotch-Kicker
First came Connecticut GOP rival Peter Schiff's incredible campaign ad. Now comes this DNC statement about the former WWE CEO: "Today the party of Bob Dole, Jack Kemp and Dick Lugar nominated a candidate who kicks men in the crotch..."...

Why Is There A Nationals Cap In The Original <em>Karate Kid</em>?
The movie came out in 1984, 20 years before the not-yet-extant Nationals unveiled their "curly W" logo. Time traveler? Or something more benign? Probably time traveler....

Former Basketball Player Ends Congressional Bid As It Began: Crazily
Remember Kevin Millen? The former Georgetown basketball player no one remembered who ran for Congress in Tennessee on a campaign of paranoia and family values and batshit insanity? He lost. But at least he's fired off one last batshit insane email....

Look At These Fucking Hoopsters At Lollapalooza
This weekend's Lollapalooza was dubbed "Hoopster Mecca" by one tipster, and after sifting through all the submissions it's clear that the hoopsters made Lollapalooza the site of their Hajj. So, here's part one of a multipart series. Christ, just look at these fucking hoopsters. Part One | Part Two ...

Fun With Composting Old Rubbers!
All right all right, time to open up the ol' sack of goodies and see what's spurtin' out. Your letters:...

Last Night's Winner: The Return Of Bill Walton
In sports, everyone is a winner — some people just win better than others. Like weird, wonderful ol' Bill Walton, at last healthy again and back to doing the thing he does best: being ridiculous in public....

Hero Monkey Saves Puppy From Fire In China (UPDATE: Hoax?)
A pipeline explosion in Nanjing has claimed the lives of 13 and injured hundreds. But the bright news comes in the form of this monkey who was photographed running away from the flames carrying this puppy to relative safety. [Now Public]...

No-Name Hoopster Mocks LeBron, Makes Name Briefly Known
I don't know who this Anthony Tolliver cat thinks he is. I like his style, punctuation and use of wolf-call special effects, though....

Breaking News: Shaq Is Old, You Are Too
Mitchell & Ness, purveyors of vintage jerseys, are now selling the O'Neal 94-95 jersey as part of their Hardwood Classics series....

Isiah Thomas Not Through Ruining The Knicks, Apparently
Isiah Thomas is back with the Knicks. BRB, going to jump off of the Gawker roof deck....

How To Shoot A Shark In The Head
"I'm scared," squeals a child as the executioner brings his revolver to bear on the 7-foot bull shark, Nguyễn Ngọc Loan-style. Smile, you son of a— [via AnimalNY]...

A Thorough Analysis Of Han Solo’s Ability To Score Space Poon
Your letters:...

Germany Being Overrun By Radioactive Boars
Twenty-five years after Chernobyl, German scientists are finding that more and more of the country's skyrocketing boar population is radioactive. The Russian payback for WWII will never end. [Der Spiegel, via]...

LeBron James Is Going To Fix The South Florida Housing Market
Today's newest LeBron news: he's going to fix the housing market in the Miami area because so many people want to be nearer to his effervescence, witness spectacular basketball, and jump on and off the bandwagon as close to home as possible....

John Cusack, Chris Chelios and Eddie Vedder Walk Into A Ballpark...
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Why The Hell Are Scientists Actively Trying To Enrage Monkeys?
When a lede mentions that "a new study in monkey-antagonism has found" research that "could pave the way for advanced methods of enraging monkeys" you keep reading and then start to ask questions. Questions like: "The hell?" and "Why does this exist?"...

Did Glen Davis Spurn LeBron Over His Dance Moves?
One highlight of ESPN's spiked LeBron story was the surreal moment of Celtics forward Glen Davis chancing upon the festivities and dismissing the scene. We thought it was because he didn't approve, but his dancing skills may be the true reason....

In Defense Of Female Objectification
Oooh, loogit! We got letters! And here they are:...

Today In Dogs Raving Their Faces Off
Per YouTube user BlueBlazeful, "Like anyone at a rave, he's either really feeling the music, or he's got rabies." We don't know what kind of raves BlueBlazeful attends, but if there are techno loving dogs there, we want to go....