Locker Page 1240 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Tim Donaghy On Game 3: Just When You Thought It Couldn't Get Worse ...
Tim Donaghy, the former NBA referee who spent 11 months in prison for relaying inside information to gamblers, is reviewing the performance of his former colleagues during the NBA Finals. Here's a quarter-by-quarter breakdown of Game 3, with accompanying video....
The Real Reasons No One Wants To Serve In The Armed Forces Anymore
I had a weird pain in my side the other day, and I'm now at the age where I assume any odd pain in my body is a sure sign of aggressive and malignant cancer. What the fuck is that pain? Is there a lump? It kinda feels swollen, especially compared to my other side. And it hurts if I poke it really ha...
Tim Donaghy On The Refs In Game 2: What Star Treatment?
Tim Donaghy, the former NBA referee who spent 11 months in prison for relaying inside information to gamblers, is reviewing the performance of his former colleagues during the NBA Finals. Here's a quarter-by-quarter breakdown of Game 2, with accompanying video....
LeBron Watch, Day 18: Danny Ferry, Loser
No one should be shocked that Cleveland cleaned house after the Cavaliers lost in the playoffs. Especially now-former GM Danny Ferry....
Two Leagues, Two Titles, Two Games-One Time
It all begins at the same time. 8:00pm....
Dr. Doc Rivers: Be Like The Squirrel Girl, Be Like The Squirrel
Doc Rivers hid $2600 in the Staples Center as a way to motivate his team to get back to LA for the Finals....
Watching The Watchmen: Tim Donaghy Breaks Down The Officiating In Game 1
Tim Donaghy, the former NBA referee who spent 11 months in prison for relaying inside information to gamblers, will review the performance of his former colleagues during the NBA Finals. Here's a quarter-by-quarter breakdown of Game 1, with accompanying video....
Celtics-Lakers To Decide Which Is The Best Franchise Ever Of The 2009-10 Season
Use this space to discuss the hugely important stakes of yet another Celtics-Lakers NBA championship. Place some bets about which of his films Jack Nicholson's smirk will be reminiscent of. I'm going with Wolf....
Soccer-Playing Penguins Adorable, Terrible At Soccer
An aquarium in South Korea — aka Good Korea — is preparing for the World Cup by dressing up its penguins and making them play soccer. Different cultures are hilarious....
The Funbag Demands You Respect The King Of Salad Dressings
I went to the dentist today to get a cleaning. And man, if there's anything that tickles worse than when the hygienist hits the roof of your mouth with that fucking polisher, I don't wanna find out what it is. When I die and am sentenced to Hell, they're gonna send me to Satan's tickling room, and t...
LeBron Watch, Day 14: The Most Hated Man in Cleveland Sports History?
With Chicago and New York salivating over the prospects of LeBron's arrival, Cleveland weighs what happens if he goes. Let's just say Art Modell's got some competition now....
Won't Some NBA Team Please Draft This Short, Slow Filipino Basketball Player?
That's Chris Tiu, a popular basketball player in the Philippines. He has lots of fans who think some NBA team should draft him in the second round. One caveat: "At 5'11" he won't beat you with speed." [Draft Chris Tiu]...
LeBron Goes On <em>Larry King</em>, Says Cleveland Has An Edge, Whatever That Means
LeBron James had a conversation with a confused old man and agreed that Cleveland has an "edge" as regards his impending free agency. In response, Larry King farted quietly into his diaper. [CNN, photo via @kingsthings]...
The Key To Beating Any Company Weed Test? JUST ADD WATER.
No time for tiddlywinks. I have to look into renting out some sort of dungeon or kennel for my four-year-old. Let's go right to your letters:...
Dennis Hopper Played <em>Hoosiers</em> Alcoholic By Spinning In A Chair
So says Maris Valainis, who played Jimmy Chitwood. So Shooter wasn't actually drunk? Next you're gonna tell me the bad guys' team wasn't really full of black kids. (Oh wait, it wasn't.) [Dan Patrick Show]...
LeBron Watch, Day 12: What The Cavs Will Do About The Delonte West-Gloria James Rumor
Was there any truth to the rumor that Delonte West and LeBron's mom, uh, you know? Two Cleveland insiders disagree on what happened, but no matter what, there's only one way for the Cavs to handle it....
Starbucks Promotion Turned Into Yet Another SuperSonics Protest
The coffee giant's "We love you Seattle" Facebook page is under siege from angry NBA lovers, because they blame CEO Howard Schultz for selling off their beloved team. Yep, Sonics fans are never letting this one go. [SunBreak]...
In Which We Search For The Ideal Masturbation Finishing Technique
No time to waste. Let's get right to your letters:...
Last Night's Winner: The Rules, Technically (UPDATE)
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like NBA schoolmarms, who time and again toughen up the rulebook to improve the league's cosmetics and who time and again wind up screwing with the game itself....