Locker Page 1244 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The World Needs More Ruined Weddings
I was watching "House" last night and there was a wedding scene in the beginning where the priest turns to the congregation and asks if anyone has any objection to the union. You know, the whole "speak now of forever hold your peace" thing. I have been to dozens of weddings in my lifetime, and not o...
Kobe Bryant: Whitest Man On The Planet
Poor Black Mamba lets the LA Times Magazine dress him in an inexplicable pimp-doily-meets-Jor-El wardrobe meant to showcase the fun side of his personality. Plus, the interview portion has him discussing dog shit again. [LATmag]...
10 More Songs Notre Dame Could Have Used For Promotional Purposes
Remember that awful Notre Dame promotional video we wrote about yesterday? Well, it only seemed awful because everyone interpreted it wrong. Actually, it was kind of brilliant. My pal Nate Freeman, who knows nothing about sports, is here to explain....
If Anyone Else Is Morbidly Curious About "The Human Centipede"...
Mark Lisanti is live blogging his viewing of it right now. It's just about to get fun it looks like. [MovieLine]...
Now Here's A Reds Funk Song To Make Their Fan Base Recoil In Shame
Readers Seth & Jen watched that wonderful Notre Dame promo and thought they recognized those Midwestern-sports-funk stylings from the video you see here, a celebration of Reds fandom....
Ridiculous Diamondbacks Boycott Rolls On
Because some people think a certain Arizona immigration bill is a very bad thing, many of those same people are taking it out on the Arizona Diamondbacks, threatening a boycott. This is, pardon my French, retarded....
What Is The Absolute Worst Movie Death To Suffer?
The first round of the NBA playoffs is almost over. ONLY THREE WEEKS LEFT UNTIL ROUND 2! Anyway, this is just about the time of the season where I start paying attention and stuff. And while my basketball knowledge is essentially a blank Aqua Doodle, there is one thing I wanted to mention about LeBr...
"Balzer" Girl Just Doesn't Have The Same Ring To It
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day...
All Your Fantasies Can Come True, With Vintage Laker Girl Outfits
For the low, low price of $10,000, you can own two outfits from 1979, the rookie year for the Laker Girls. Make a Halloween costume! Pleasure yourself to them! Become a shot girl in Branson! [eBay, via Brooks]...
Last Night's Winner: LeElbow
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the hinge joint in LeBron James's right arm, which exploded into a thousand pieces yesterday, filling the Cleveland sky with bright constellations of bone dust and shard....
Bango The Buck's Encore: Battery And Harassment
Bango — drunk with power after surviving last night's dunk — is now harassing Wisconsin's small coterie of Atlanta Hawks fans. Enjoy the dulcet tones of P.O.D. and — I hope — the use of a single Al Horford jersey. H/T Jon....
Could You Make A Successful Hobo? And What’s The Best Way To Get Cancer?
Again, we go right to your questions....
Joe Biden Mourns The 29 Dead West Virginia Miners By Somberly Crapping On Rich Rodriguez
Here's our walking facepalm of a vice president, speaking at a memorial for the dead miners: "They loved hunting, fishing, riding horses and four-wheelers. They hated the way Coach Rodriguez left West Virginia for Michigan." [TNR]...
Last Night's Winner: People Who Question Dwight Howard's Manhood
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the folks who mistake human beings for sled dogs and accuse Dwight Howard of not being alpha enough....
Innocent D-Backs Caught In Immigration Debate
Dave Zirin, professional contrarian, has sworn never to write about the Diamondbacks while Arizona's controversial immigration law exists. Funny, we never needed an excuse to not write about the D-Backs. Now go start flaming our comments section. [Edge of Sports]...
Bango The Mascot Ascends Ladder As Deer, Descends As Deer-Man
Bango, the Bucks' mascot, is one of the best performers in the mascot ranks. Last night he proved it. During the biggest game of the year, Bango flipped off a ladder, dunked, and somehow managed not to die. [Vegas Plays]...
High School Footage Of Skinny Shaquille O'Neal Here To Make Cavs, Suns, Magic, LSU Fans Weep
Judging by the 8-and-6 he's averaging thus far in the playoffs, Shaq's career seems to be rapidly winding down. Marvel at this 20-year-old footage of him running the break and generally looking like Wilt and David Robinson rolled into one. [NBAOffseason.com]...
Manny Ramirez Heroically Shops For Discount Electronics On Injured Calf
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day...
NBA Open Thread
Put on your fancy tux and talk hoops in here. Thanks to Matt for the photo....
Well, This Guy Is Happy For His Friend
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day...