Locker Page 1245 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Because Prime Time Is Where The Motherfucking Draft Belongs. Your 2010 NFL Draft Jamboroo
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....
Don Nelson, Very Hands On When Bathing His Dog
Dirk Nowitzki says he once walked in on Nellie and his dog Lucky in the hot tub. If he had decided to join them, it would have looked like every German porno ever. [Sports Radio Interviews]...
The Clippers, In A Nutshell: Wealthy Incompetent Bickers With Wealthier Incompetent Over $6.75 Million
Mike Dunleavy claims that Clippers owner Donald "Evict the Bitch" Sterling is stiffing him out of a bunch of money that neither of them really deserves. [LAT, via Slam]...
Lawrence Frank Drops F-Bomb On ESPN's "First Take"
The old Nets coach is still new to live television, so perhaps he wasn't aware that he can still be heard even after a segment ends. Then again, Barkley's been doing this for years and experience hasn't helped him. [YouBeenBlinded]...
You Ladies Should Always Take Your Husband’s Last Name
No time for tiddlywinks. Your letters:...
LeBron Puts James Johnson On A Poster
LeBron gives us a thunderous dunk over the hapless Johnson, followed by a scream that's television gold. We now return you to your regularly-scheduled, non-LeBron posting....
CRACK BABY VS. AIDS BABY? An Audio Funbag With Adam Carolla
Worlds are colliding, folks. Number one podcaster in the universe Adam Carolla was nice enough to record an audio funbag with us, in which he answers some of your most probing questions....
Your NBA Playoffs Open Thread
Will Bulls-Cavs be half as good as Bulls-Celtics? Will the Atlanta Hawks learn to "Fear the Deer?" Can the Celtics shake off some half-season rust and stop Los Heat? Will the Nuggets rally in the name of their ailing coach?...
Commish Gives Salary Cap A Boost
David Stern has lifted the salary cap for next season to $56.1 million, roughly $4 million higher than expected. Great news for the Knicks, who can now afford Carlos Boozer, Ray Allen, and nice crutches for the both of them. [TrueHoop]...
The Nets Should Party Harder Next Season
Jersey players were reportedly "downing tequila shots with a bevy of hot blondes" the night before their "big game" against Miami. Look, a 70-loss team has no big games, but that double-OT effort was pretty inspired. !Mas tequila, por favor!...
Bogus Rumors About The <em>Entourage</em> Douches That We'll Choose To Believe Anyway
I hate stretching. I hate everything about it. Ninety percent of all stretching done in America today is done in a cursory fashion. You have to go lift or exercise, so you grab your foot and stretch your quad for three seconds, then you jump on the equipment. This is how I stretch, and it does nothi...
Scott Stapp Ruins Baseball
Here's Stapp, known to you as lead singer for the band that made you hate both music and God, howling a song called "Marlins Will Soar." Sample lyric: "Let's play ball, it's gameday. We want strikeouts, base hits, double plays." [Stapp's Blog]...
Stay Away From Atlanta This Weekend
In addition to the Hawks' playoff game, downtown Atlanta will play host to two separate "Freaknik" festivals, something called the Sweetwater 420 Fest, a tango convention, and a robotics competition. Hijinks are sure to ensue. [AJC]...
The Steroids Menace Eradicated, Congress Goes After Dip
Congress called on baseball to ban players from using smokeless tobacco in the dugout. But without chaw, what am I supposed to pretend my Big League Chew is? [AP]...
Isaiah Rider Accused Of Kidnapping. Again.
After three police incidents in the span of five days, former NBA-er Isaiah "J.R." Rider knew he'd have to take his game to another level if he wanted to stay on top. Kidnapping an infant should do the trick....
Jumping Out Of A Plane Trumps Lesbian Hooker Dildo Shows
I went to a skydiving center this past weekend. I jumped and was a complete pussy all the way down (that's me staring wistfully back at the plane). The full story will be in Penthouse magazine sometime this summer. I never knew how much skydiving cost, so I asked the lady the normal fee for jumping ...
The Hedo Turkoglu Google-Commercial Parody Is Here To Creep You Out
This "parody" of those Google Search Story commercials is weird, to say the least, and bordering on bat-shit insane, to say more. While Turkoglu's been a bit of a disappointment this year, it's no reason to eat him. [YouTube]...
To Sit Or Not To Sit: Do Players Owe Fans Anything?
It's that time of year again: The time when NBA teams, secure in their playoff destiny, start phoning in their remaining regular season games. But are these millionaires really just robbing you, John Q. Slob, of your hard-earned minimum wages?...
Hits This Year? Jay Bruce Can Count 'Em On Two Middle Fingers
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Today In "Holy Crap, This Guy Is Buying An NBA Team": Prokhorov Does Business With A Dictator
New Jersey legislator Bill Pascrell Jr. is calling for an inquiry that into the sale of the Nets because prospective owner Mikhail Prokhorov may or may not have done business with reigning Dictator of the Year, Zimbabwe's Robert Mugabe. Of course....