Locker Page 1246 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Chaos In Chicagoland: Just Who's In Charge Here?
The Bulls are on the wrong side of the tiebreaker for the last playoff spot in the East. It might not even matter for Vinny Del Negro's job security, after a very public disagreement with management over Joakim Noah's usage....
John Paul Stevens Says Babe Ruth Called His Shot
How does he know? He saw it in person. Dude's old as dirt, and he's still never seen the Cubbies win it all....
Praying For Car Accidents Is OK!
Big doings here at the funbag. Next week we'll be doing a bonus audio version of the funbag (Don't worry, the two regular ones will still run) with a very, very special Deadcast guest. So send in only your finest retarded questions about poop, boners, and snacking if you want in. Now, your letters....
What Did Kevin Durant Want Behind ESPN's Firewall?
This afternoon, Durant put out the call on Twitter for help getting to something on ESPN.com Insider. But what was it that Durant was so excited to read? We have ideas....
Dan Gadzuric Needs Velcro Sneakers
From tonight's game, Dan Gadzuric stops to tie his shoe, forcing the Bucks to play 4-on-5 for a verrrry looong tiiiime. Seriously, he almost runs out the shot clock....
Three Steps: Skirt NCAA Rules, Peddle Frozen Pizza, Join Nuggets
Remember Brian Butch, the guy who was a McDonald's All-American but still redshirted at Wisconsin? The Nuggets signed him because...someone needs to hack Gasol. Enjoy Butch's old commercial for Pep's, a frozen pizza with "quality...Wisconsin...sauce." [Ball Don't Lie]...
When Is This Pussy Gonna Try Coaching Dudes?
It's been in the 80s here in DC this week, which means this is the first time this year I've been able to bust out the shorts. And when you bust out the shorts, that means it is, once again, open season on bareball nut scratching. All winter long, I gotta scratch my nuts by digging into my jeans. NO...
Hitler Makofane Demands You Listen To The Name Of The Year Deadcast
People, there is a huge difference between merely looking at your 2010 Name of the Year ballot, and saying those names out loud. And this special Deadcast will prove it. (Listen here, iTunes here.)...
With Obama, Even His First Pitch Skews Left
It's an opening day tradition unlike any other: making fun of the president for his horrible ceremonial first pitch....
Andray Blatche Really, Really Wanted That Triple-Double
We like to think players are so caught up in the game that they don't notice when they're approaching a statistical accomplishment. It's not true. Here's Andray Blatche doing everything humanly possible to get his 10th rebound....
Watch Andrew Bogut's Arm Turn Into Spaghetti
Want to break a young player of the nasty habit of hanging on the rim after a dunk? Just show them this gruesome video of Bogut absolutely destroying his arm last night....
Everyone In Rochester Is Psyched For The Frozen Four
Yes, even the roadkill. Rochester Institute of Technology's surprise appearance in the NCAA hockey semifinals has Tiger Fever sweeping through campus, and rabies sweeping through the central nervous system of whoever set this up. [via this kid's Facebook]...
Here's A Video Of A Basketball-Playing Dog That You Will Watch All Day
This pup has the fundamentals and requisite pizazz to dominate a rec league and galvanize a small town, something that has not been seen since the Air Bud franchise stormed into theaters and stole our hearts and our $9.95. [YouTube]...
Getting High With Alex Chilton In Tuscaloosa, 1986-1990: An Oral History
Big Star's Alex Chilton, the musician whom your favorite band is probably ripping off right now, died two weeks ago. What follows is an oral history of Alex's very brief and extraordinarily stoned time in an Alabama college town....
In Which We Declare A Fatwa On All Online April Fooling
It's April Fool's Day today, and we've now reached the point where April Fool's has officially become a web nuisance. "Big news everyone! From now on the funbag will be written by Robert Weintraub!" Yes, hardy fucking har. Everyone realizes it's April Fool's Day right around 9:02AM these days. The r...
Kevin Garnett: "We Were Playing Michael Fucking Jordan"
A live mic and a player upset with the officiating always make for an interesting combo. Kevin Garnett did not disappoint:...
Flip Murray In A Nutshell: The Incredible, Too-Late Buzzer Not-Quite Beater
Flip Murray hit an amazing half-court shot in last night's Suns-Bulls game. Unfortunately, the third-quarter buzzer had already sounded, and Flip was left to ponder the thin line between glory and a spot on Dazzling Dunks and Basketball Bloopers. [TheHoopsDoctors.com]...
New Facts: Most Sports Viewers Are Republican, John Boehner Chain Smokes
According to this recent fancypants study, the majority of sports fans in this country tend to vote Republican. This explains why so many people start yelling at us when this site throws lefty....
Why Don't More Famous People Have AIDS?
I went to park my car the other day and the spot I parked in had a parking meter that was out of order. It is ILLEGAL to park in a spot with a meter that's out of order. You'll get a ticket. I cannot tell you how angry this makes me. It's not my fucking fault the meter is out of order. And now we ha...
Socialized Soccer: The Ill-Conceived Plan To Return English Football To The English
Sick of foreign businessmen and oil magnates buying up the Premiership's best, then driving them into the ground, the government has proposed some ways to put teams back in the hands of the fans. They're all unworkable....