Locker Page 1249 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Grizzlies Fan Enters The Pantheon Of Painful Trampoline Dunk Failures (UPDATE)
Last night, one lucky Memphis fan got the chance to dunk off of a trampoline. He managed the dunk itself, but what followed was yet another reminder of the perils of using springy devices to propel ourselves skyward. [NBA.com]...
Jim Bunning Gives Reporter The Finger
It's easy to forget that Sen. Bunning, who enjoys watching the unemployed starve and freeze to death for sport, was a Hall of Fame pitcher. Maybe that's where he learned to deal so maturely with the media. [ABC News]...
Wizards, Donuts, Knives, And Cannibalistic Fruits
Boner from Growing Pains committed suicide last week, and that left me sad. More important, it made me remember that I used to watch that show religiously, and spent a great deal of my childhood imaging that I was Mike Seaver. There was one episode where Carol brings home some new friend: a smoking ...
Well, That AI/Philly Reunion Was Fun
The Sixers announced Allen Iverson won't return to the team, ostensibly to spend time with his ailing daughter. Then why was he in Charlotte over the weekend, partying it up with Jermaine Dupri? [Philly Daily News]...
My Roger Ebert Story
The first time I was ever published in a book was 1997. It was because I'd found Roger Ebert's email and asked him a question....
Al Jefferson Busted For DWI, Maybe Definitely
Certainly, some Al Jefferson with the same birthday as the Wolves center got pulled over and charged with a DWI last night. If Rand says it's so, then it's so. [Hennepin County Sheriff]...
Sexbots, Virginity, And A Heartwarming Joe Biden Poop Story
I have a serious recurring problem. Once a month or so, I will walk into a door before I have opened it. I go to a door, I grab the knob, and I begin pushing the door in before I have begun twisting the knob. Sometimes, I'll give the door full-on shoulder check before I have to back off, twist the k...
Cavs To Set World Record For Sissiest World Record
There are a handful of down-on-their-luck teams chomping at the bit to sign LeBron James. He'd be the only attraction they'd need to sell tickets. Meanwhile, Cleveland is attempting to break the Guinness World Record for most Snuggies....
Birth, Peanut Butter, And Assorted Condiments
My kid has become obsessed with flashlights, which makes sense because I've NEVER stopped enjoying playing with flashlights. Seriously, flashlights are awesome. You can shine them directly in people's eyes. You can point them at the wall and shake them to make cool patterns. LOOK! A CIRCLE OF LIGHT!...
Raptors Mascot Fails To Sublimate Prey Drive, Eats Cheerleader
Also found in his digestive tract: Hedo Turkoglu's jump shot. [YouTube]...
Basketball Players Should Touch Each Other More Often, Science Urges
Scientists, those smart people who split the atom and cured polio, have charted hugs and high fives for every NBA team and concluded that, as The New York Times puts it, "good teams tended to be touchier than bad ones."...
Marquis Daniels' Bling Head Is Tasteful, Understated
Boston guard Marquis Daniels (9.4 PPG, lifetime) had his actual head encrusted in diamonds and precious metals. Oh, wait. That's just a medallion. I guess even Marquis Daniels needs help recognizing Marquis Daniels. [Jason of Beverly Hills]...
Josh Howard: Party Monster
Howard might have been jumping for joy inside when he got traded to Washington. Not because the Wizards are any good, but because it was in Washington last month that he drank so much, he couldn't play the next day....
Subway Fantasies, Fire, Sex Dolls, And Ingrown Hairs
I was watching "Archer" the other night and they had Archer's mom stranded on a shitty fishing boat that was named CHUM GUZZLER. That's a fucking win. Onto the letters....
D-League Ball, Up Close And Personal
The Bakersfield Jam have pioneered the "luxury basketball experience," in which all of the 420 in attendance get front row seats. It's like Medieval Times, with Reece Gaines. [D-League Digest, via SbB]...
The Deadspin Mailbag: Now Twice A Week
A bit of news before we get to the letters today. First off, I'm rechristening the Deadspin mailbag the Deadspin Funbag. It makes sense for what we do here. Secondly, you don't want funbags unless they come in pairs. That goes without saying. So I'm expanding the mailbag to twice a week. Not splitti...
Shaq, Dwight Howard Resolve Nerdiest Beef Ever
Howard: "[T]here's no battle of nicknames. I mean, if he wants to be Superman, he can be Superman. But I never tried to steal that title from him or take away anything that he's done for the game." [ESPN]...
And The Crowd Goes <em>Meh</em>: A Gallery Of Bored People At The Slam Dunk Contest
Gawker.TV's David Matthews watched Saturday's dunk contest and collected all the indifferent reaction shots of a crowd that seemed to think it was watching the Bob Hope Classic. Here's Dwyane Wade, dislocating his own jaw out of sheer boredom. [Gawker.TV]...
Arnold Schwarzenegger Has A Question For His Golf Partner: "When Was Your Last Blow Job?"
Via Wei Under Par comes this amusing tale of golfing with the California governor, who apparently behaves as coarsely on the links as he does, well, everywhere else....
Everyone On The Showtime Lakers Was Having Sex, All The Time
From a new Jerry West biography, it's alleged that players would take women into the sauna after games, before emerging to meet the media. Hopefully not before Magic's first retirement press conference. [Milwaukee J-S]...